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| ==Trivia== | | ==Trivia== |
| *UNSC vehicles are usually named after animals (such as the Warthog or [[Pelican]]). Some exceptions are the UNSC aircraft fighters and bombers (such as the Longsword, Shortsword, and Sabre) which are named after types sword. Covenant vehicles are mostly named after supernatural beings (such as the Ghost or Phantom); with the exception of large land units being named after insects (such as the [[Scarab]] or [[Locust]]), though this could stem from them first being encountered in a non-combat role. | | *UNSC vehicles are usually named after animals (such as the Warthog or [[Pelican]]). Some exceptions are the UNSC aircraft fighters and bombers (such as the Longsword, Shortsword, and Sabre) which are named after types sword. Covenant vehicles are mostly named after supernatural beings (such as the Ghost or Phantom); with the exception of large land units being named after insects (such as the [[Scarab]] or [[Locust]]), though this could stem from them first being encountered in a non-combat role. |
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| {{needsmoar|fandom-related lulz}}
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| {{warning|Kingdom Hearts believes it is [[Serious Business]], and produces no [[lulz]]}}
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| [[image:Beltanzipper.png|thumb|Every Kingdom Hearts character ever.]]
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| [[Image:KingdomHeartsFans.jpg|thumb|[[Buttertroll|Typical]] ''Kingdom Hearts'' [[MTF|fangirls.]]]]
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| [[image:Sha_NAY_NAY.png|thumb|What happens when [[Gay|Axel]] and Roxas [[Secks|reunite]].]]
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| [[Image:7235.jpg|thumb|[[Some argue]] that ''Kingdom Hearts'' is teh greatest gaem [[evar]].]]
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| [[Image:1179889033755.jpg|thumb|right|KH has an innovative [[faggotry|battle system]].]]
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| [[Image:Axelpooholes.jpg|thumb|left|Axel expressing his affection for pooholes.]]
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| [[Image:Trinity Power!-.jpg|thumb|right|One of Sora's many abilities.]]
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| Squaresoft's biggest blowout hit since the [[gay|gayzification]], more colloquially known as their merger with Enix.
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| ==Gameplay==
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| In '''''Kingdom Hearts''''', you become [[Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing|winner]] by approaching an enemy and beat him [[What|senselessly with a key]] pressing X several times. Riku, the character who is pretty [[angst|angsty]] but not as [[angst|angsty]] as that one other character, can also perform magic attacks that do not do anything. AI partners such as Donald and Goofy assist you in battle by using up all of your potions and dying. Between stages, players are punished for their stupid decision to buy the game by being forced to play through the microwave oven version of ''Star Fox''.
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| ==Origins==
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| It was the year 2000. The world had barely entered the new millennium and the Y2K bug was averted. Yes, it seemed that mankind was at the very hallmark of it's existence.
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| Little did anyone know, an amazing event took place in California.
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| At an unknown cryogenics lab in Anaheim, the lid to an old cryogenic shuttle had been opened. Out of it came someone we were sure was dead.
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| Walt Disney.
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| You see, with his empire growing at a phenomenal level, Walt was content. But one day, while working on "The Sword and the Stone", Disney had a period of brief mortality. He was coming on 60 in this world and at the rate of his health he would never get to see the fruits of his labor. Sure, Disneyland was great. But what about that Disneyworld he planned to build in Florida? But why stop there? What about Tokyo Disney? EuroDisney? Hong Kong Disney? Maybe we can build one in Moscow and show those pinko commie sons of bitches a thing or two.
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| Drunk on this idea, Disney put to work some of his finest imagineers at Tommorowland to develop a way for Disney to live on into the next century. Finally, after about a year of non stop work and many fatalities in the process, Disney had himself a cryogenic chamber. The plan was that Disney would enter the cryogenic chamber and be put in a state of suspended animation. He would remain this way until his birthday, December 5th, in the year 2000. He entered cryogenic sleep on December 15th, 1965. Jealous stockholders who lost millions of dollars on this crazy scheme, said that Walt died of lung cancer due to his constant smoking habit. Also, just to take a jab at the person who made them lose money, they said he was antisemitic.
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| As Disney awoke from his slumber, he looked at the world around him. And everything he saw displeased him. Turns out that his multi-billion dollar company wasn't the only multi-billion dollar company out there. Microsoft, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, the whole lot. Plus, the motion pictures, made-for-TV movies, and Animated motion pictures that had his name on the title sucked. He made this discovery after watching ''The Emporer's New Groove''.
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| What most disturbed Disney was that his beloved children from the 50's who used to have so much imagination were now fat little fucks that had no imagination whatsoever.
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| Feeling betrayed by the demographic who practically built his fortune, Disney looked to a new demographic: Video Gamers.
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| Although he was first skeptical, Disney was willing to try anything to get into the wallets of these very docile creatures. So he studied them.
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| After his study he made a conclusion.
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| Video Gamers like Anime.
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| Anime is commonly associated with RPG's
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| Many gamers grew up watching the shitstorm spawned by his period in stasis.
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| Why the hell couldn't he make an RPG with his characters, god damn it?
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| The flagship of RPGs was this fabled ''Final Fantasy''.
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| It was obvious what Disney had to do:
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| Create a video game combining what was great (or lucrative) about his animated films and combine them with the oh-so-complex and interesting characters and storylines found in ''Final Fantasy'' titles.
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| "By God, I'm a genius!" he said as he picked up the phone to call Squaresoft.
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| ==xxxKingdomexHeartsxxx==
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| Players have the chance to command a young boy(?) wearing a clown suit. Featured in the game is what is lack for a better word, [[J-Pop]] music by [[Utada Hikaru]] and characters from ''[[Final Fantasy]]'' and classic [[Disney]] movies. It is of note that this game decides to completely fucking disregard the canon of the other Final Fantasy games and simply brings [[bitch|Aeris]] back to life after Orpheus travels to the land of Hades to retrieve her. Consequentially, she is now named [[lolwut|Aerith]]. The story is about the boy(?), SORAs, quest to find his girlfriend-to-be, Kairi, in many worlds, each one more tacky than the previous. Unfortunately for Sora, Kairi falls into a coma and is kidnapped by angst ridden teenager Riku, who is trying to go [[wowzaz_86]] on the poor innocent Kairi. Along the way Sora has wet dreams which awaken Donald Duck with hot [[semen|spermjuice]]. Everybody dies in the end.
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| The game was quite a hit in the gaming world for featuring, amazingly in the midst of all the [[gayness]], a [[retarded]] gaming system which lured many [[virgins|gamers]] to this style, as well as [[whores|women]] attracted by the absurd amount of what is referred in some female circles as cuteness. This makes it the first video game, of any type, ever, to be played by members of the [[woman|weaker sex]].
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| This spawn of hell also created a new trend: huge fucking shoes. I mean seriously, look at every charecter's fucking feet. How big are all thier feet?! God damn!
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| The game ''TimeSplitters: Future Perfect'' took the basic idea and plot and did it better with characters you didn't want to strangle. If only the game wasn't a shitty ''Goldeneye'' cocksucker.
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| ==Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories==
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| Sora finds himself trapped in castle by a mysterious organization that slipped him a date rape drug. As such he can't remember anything so you get to play through the original game again! Except this is on the GBA and you fight with CARDS! This is at least 50% gayer than the original especially with a final boss with pink showing off his willy for a final boss.
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| Square Enix was very happy when all the dumb broads, I mean, fans bought this game for what little plot there is.
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| ==Kingdom Hearts 2==
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| '''''Kingdom Hearts II''''' is the shitty sequel to ''Kingdom Hearts''. Unlike that first game there is ACTUAL gay content. With Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Sephiroth all in one game there's no way this wasn't targeted towards [[fangirls]],[[fanboys]], and 13-year-old gamers who don't know any better. They have 12 guys (half of which are already dead) running talking about these portals (see [[vagina]]) to peoples hearts .
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| [[Image:Emomale.jpg|thumb|Typical ''Kingdom Hearts'' fanboy. Notice the abundance of friends and a social life.]]
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| Only furries and morons still obsessed with ''[[Final Fantasy VII]]'' play this game, and [[Republicans]] who pre-play their children's games to make sure it won't encourage them to develop any opinions on the world around them.
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| A feature implemented is that in this ''Kingdom Hearts'' shamelessly ruins <i>[[Pirates]] Of The Caribbean</i> by adding [[Jack Sparrow]] and giving him a [[faggot]]'s voice. Other movies ruined in the game include any movies that were unfortunate enough to be included in the mass murder of halfway decent Disney movies as we know them.
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| ==Characters==
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| #Micky Mouse - the world's most famous pimp
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| #Diz - racist pedo
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| #Donald - [[Furry]]
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| #Goofy - Retarded furry
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| #Sora - young boy on quest for genecide
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| #Riku - teh biggest douche EVER
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| #Kairi - [[16-year-old girl|whore]]
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| #Namine - DiZ and Marluxia's sex slave
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| #[[double nigger|Xemnas]] - Mansex
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| #Xigbar - [[redneck]]
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| #Xaldin - [[bara]]
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| #Vexen - [[shit no one cares about|ugly fucktard]]
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| #Lexaeus - Zexion's man bitch
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| #Zexion - noisy [[emo]]
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| #Saix - Mansex's lap bitch
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| #Axel - [[ginger]]
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| #Demyx - [[faggot|uses a gaint blue penis as his weapon]]
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| #Roxas - pedobait
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| #Xion - hermphordite emo bitch
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| #[[nigger|Ansem]] - [[douchebag]]
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| #Xehanort - [[ganguro]]
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| ==Fantards==
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| All KH fantards are lesbians. If they aren't before entering the fandom, they will be soon.
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| Every KH fantard makes a music video of an
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| [[emo|emo/screamo]] song and puts it on [[youtube]] accompanied by random KH scenes. This is [[fact]].
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| Once Sora manhandled Riku's ass we all knew we would be screwed.
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| Fangirls KAWAIIED over the "questionable friendship" the two boys had. So what happened? Well, they became Fuck Buddies, that's what freaking happened. Soon the swarms of horribly written fan fiction made several blind and may have cause some Grammar Nazis to commit suicide. Somehow, it's still better than the stories based around Axel and Roxas.
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| When dealing with Kingdom Hearts fantards, it's important to remember that it has one of the most fucked up fandoms evar.
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| {{fv|starvids|background-color: pink;|font-weight: bold; |<youtube>a5yJRVlPySc</youtube>|<youtube>ercw540ipiQ</youtube>|<youtube>5FdTSZ2NlJA</youtube>}}
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| How to annoy a KH fantard:
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| #Tell them their wet dreams of Axel fucking Roxas will never happen. Axel became [[an hero]] to save him. He's dead; get over it. End of story.
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| #Tell the 300 pound chick in the Kairi outfit at Otacon that you spent the whole morning puking, because Jesus fucking Christ no one should ever have to see that many fat rolls.
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| #Riku isn't a misunderstood hero. He's the world's biggest douche.
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| #Troll on fanfiction.net by flaming all the shitty ass stories.
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| #Tell a [[yaoi]] [[fangirl]] that you just KNOW Sora and Kairi will end up together.
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| #PRESSING X TAKES SO MUCH SKILL, GUYZ!
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| KH Fan fiction is quite possibly the worst thing to exist in the history of the world. Common elements include:
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| #No Plot. AT ALL.
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| #Sora dreams of Riku fucking his ass
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| #Shitty high school AUs where every male character takes it up the ass, because het is ew.
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| #[[Mpreg]] in which Sora and Riku get to raise an assbaby of their own.
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| #Vammmpires
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| #A songfic highlighting the author's love of My Chemical Romance
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| #Kairi dies a horrible, bloody death
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| #Riku cuts himself.. darkness..blah blah blah...
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| #Sora is randomly raped several times
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| #Kairi is a bitch and wants to fuck Sora all on her own
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| #Have them randomly proclaim their love for each other for no reason at all
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| #????
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| #No. No profit.
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| Some shitty fan fiction of the now, for the purpose of lulz. Please flame at your convenience:
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5137699/1/Everything_and_Anything Everything and Anything]: An AU in which Riku is a spoiled emo bitch who wants Sora but can't have him. In retaliation, Riku's father, Sephiroth (seriously, WTF??), rapes Sora so Riku can have a little bitch of his own.
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5122154/1/Adopted Adopted]: Sora, Roxas, and Cloud are four-month-old cats who can turn into humans. They spend their time fucking Riku, Axel, and Squall. I SHIT YOU NOT.
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4984156/1/Whitest_Light Whitest Light]: The most horribly written, emo fanfic you'll ever read. Author has a warning about teh gayness of her characters, but only because someone tore her a new one.
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5127233/1/Kingdom_Hearts_In_France Kingdom Hearts in France]: How could this be anything BUT horrible?
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4686747/1/Boy_Oh_Boy Boy Oh Boy]: She advertises it as "better than it sounds". It's not.
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| #[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5058458/1/The_Other_Side_isnt_so_Green The Other Side Isn't so Green]: Axel's an emo bitch that's abused by his parents and raped by his dad. He says he sometimes likes teh buttfucking.
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| ==Pairings Are teh Best!==
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| KH [[fangirls]] will pair any characters together as long as they deem it fappable. They're ALL [[gay]], of course:
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| -<b>AkuRoku</b> - The [[weebo]] word for pairing Axel with Roxas. Mostly angsty, suicidal stories that go on for 500,000 words or more. S&M is a common element, and fangirls can't get off unless there are at least eighty-seven rape scenes.
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| -<b>RikuxSora</b> - Generally portrays Sora as a pussy bitch who takes it up the ass from Riku, who might as well be Yuki from [[Gravitation]]. Sora MUST be raped by Ansem in order for the story to be considered good.
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| -<b>SoraxRoxas</b> - Incest FTW! Apparently fantards don't care that they're THE SAME FUCKING PERSON.
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| -<b>Zemyx</b> - Zexion and Demyx is one of the most popular pairings, despite the fact that the characters NEVER EVEN CONVERSE IN THE GAMES.
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| -<b>Cleon</b> - Cloud and Leon, [[Lol wut|who is actually Squall, but doesn't use that name anymore since he's angst-ing about hard his home world got pwned]]. The most emo bullshit you'll ever see in your life. Apparently, because they stand back-to-back in one scene in KHII, this is a legitimate pairing, even though they don't even know each other prior to that other than through mutual friends, who, though it's redundant to say at this point, shouldn't even exist in the same fucking time-space.
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| At least 99% of all Kingdom Hearts fan fiction includes all of these pairings in one story and does not necessarily have to be bound by pesky details like continuity.
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| ==Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days==
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| The result of Square/Enix reading a few too many Kingdom Hearts fanfics. You play as Roxas this time around, and you have to run around doing errands for the black-coated fags in Organization XIII, some of which include [[stalker|investigating new worlds]] and [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|killing]] [[Special:Random|anything]] and [[everything]] that moves. The designers, attempting to silence the hoards of Axel/Roxas fangirls once and for all, threw in a [[Mary-Sue]] named Xion, complete with emo haircut and Keyblade use, to fall in love with Roxas. Of course, someone at the company loves their incest/masturbation fantasies, and makes it so Xion and Roxas are parts of the same person.
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| ==Enemies==
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| *The Heartless who have no bodies.
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| *The Nobodies who have no hearts.
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| *The Goatse-less who like it in the butt.
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| *[[Solid Snake's Ass]].
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| *Your IQ
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| *Your common sense.
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| *Your heterosexuality.
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| *[[Nigger|Ansem]]
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| *Xemnas (anagram for his actual name: Mansex)
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| *[[Utada Hikaru]]'s horrible English lyrics.
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| *[[Frunz|The bad lulz]], [[old memes]] etc.
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| *[[Org Infinity]], who fight with My Little Ponies.
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| *Your mom (along with your mom's mom)
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| *Decent games as we know them
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| *Anybody opposed to abortion
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| *Anybody opposed to homosexuality
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| *Captain Falcon's giant [[cock]].
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| ==Images==
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|
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| {{cg|Wat|watgallery|center|<gallery>
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| Image:Pride lands sora level.jpg|The Pride Lands level in a nutshell.
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| Image:Logic goes where scar sora lions.jpg|It's easy to guess what group that Square Enix wanted to appeal to..
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| Image:Riku sora kingdom hearts.jpg|How the game REALLY ended.
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| Image:Sora_Ultimate_Form.jpg|Sora's Ultimate Form in ''Kingdom Hearts II''</gallery>|<gallery>
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| Image:Donald duck winnie the pooh sora.png|The
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| Image:Kingdom hearts sora.jpg|entire
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| Image:Sora riku.jpg|game
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| Image:Naga sora riku.png|is
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| Image:Sora.png|like
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| Image:Sora riku roxas.jpg|this,
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| Image:Sora tinkerbell.jpg|honestly.
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| Image:1167100897900fh7.png|A test you must pass before being able to play the game.
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| Image:Demyxanonymous.jpg|He love the [[cock]].
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| Image:Xemnagays.JPG|[[Moar|What really happens]] to [[You|Xemnas]] in ''Kingdom Hearts''.
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| Image:Group_Photo_by_Keblademasteress.JPG|Typical Kingdom Hearts [[retard|fans]]
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| </gallery>}}
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|
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| == See also ==
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| *''[[Final Fantasy VII]]''
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| *''[[The World Ends With You]]''
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| *[[DisneyFan01]]
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| *[[SapphyDracases]]
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| *[[ShaloneSK]]
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| *[[Yaoi-ultima]]
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| *[[Austral-Azn]]
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| *[[Blazesonic]]
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| *[[Iris]]
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|
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| {{Gaming}}
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| [[Category:Gaming]]
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| __NOEDITSECTION____NOTOC__ | | __NOEDITSECTION____NOTOC__ |
| [[Category:Technology]] | | [[Category:Technology]] |
| [[Category:Transportation]] | | [[Category:Transportation]] |
The vehicles from the Halo universe are transport vehicles usually designed for use in combat situations. Many vehicles exist in the Halo universe, and some of them can be used in the Halo games. Vehicles are a very important part of the gameplay, and can be used in both campaign and multiplayer.
Vehicles have distinct tactical advantages. Most vehicles have powerful weapons with unlimited ammunition. Their firepower can be used to damage or destroy enemy forces or placements. Vehicles can also be used to transport troops swiftly, and can provide essential support in skirmishes.
Due to their size, vehicles can't enter some tight areas like buildings, where infantry can enter. However, Warthogs, Mongooses or Ghosts can often be driven in corridors, and even up and down stairs. Vehicles can be clearly seen and destroyed by enemy artillery or explosive small-arms fire. Vehicles can also be hijacked, which either results in the hijacked vehicle being destroyed, or the driver being ejected and the hijacker taking control of the vehicle.
Gameplay
In gameplay, only a small number of very unique vehicles are drivable, and controllable, most operating in a similar fashion, allowing driving (navigation) and control of mounted weaponry (attack), though some allow one to do both simultaneously or only provide one of the two. Such weapons usually have unlimited ammunition available, whether they are human (ballistic-based) or Covenant (plasma-based).
When the player enters a vehicle by climbing into driving, weapons or passenger seats, the camera switches from a first-person to a third-person view. This improves peripheral vision and the bird's eye view makes it easier to drive around, with nearby terrain easily fitting into view. When the player has control of weaponry while being driven around in a vehicle, either hand-held weapons (usable while in passenger seats) or mounted weapons (usable while in turret seats), a stylized aiming reticule is displayed much like when in first-person view, locked to the center of the screen and replacing the typical arrow cursor.
Halo: Combat Evolved is the only game where vehicles cannot be destroyed unless its part of the game (campaign) or glitches/mods. However, Ghosts and Banshees can be destroyed in Halo: Combat Evolved's campaign, albeit only when the Ghost or the Banshee is occupied.
Allied
UNSC and Covenant vehicles are made available in Campaign levels (depending on which side the player character is on, UNSC/Covenant), when the player needs to infiltrate or cut through enemy-held territory.
Either kept unused, waiting for a driver or allowing the player's character to switch with a friendly unit, the player may enter it without meeting any resistance and take control of it. Alternatively the player may enter unoccupied mounted turrets.
Enemy
Since UNSC Vehicles are rarely available within Campaign levels, it is a common practice to kill the driver of Covenant vehicles in order to hijack them. Although it is relatively easy to kill its driver from afar with careful sniping, the preferred approach is known as "boarding".
Vehicles that have been stopped by sheer firepower by destroying or disabling them cannot be taken control of. With vehicles such as the Ghost and Banshee, the boarding procedure is simpler. You can board it, throw the driver off, and in most cases automatically assume control of the vehicle, all in one quick action.
Multiplayer
Certain vehicles can be driven in multiplayer levels. Vehicles can be very useful in Slayer and Skirmish gametypes.
In Capture the Flag, once the player character has picked up the flag, the character cannot drive a vehicle or take control of its weaponry, though the character may ride in a vehicle driven by another character.
Trivia
- UNSC vehicles are usually named after animals (such as the Warthog or Pelican). Some exceptions are the UNSC aircraft fighters and bombers (such as the Longsword, Shortsword, and Sabre) which are named after types sword. Covenant vehicles are mostly named after supernatural beings (such as the Ghost or Phantom); with the exception of large land units being named after insects (such as the Scarab or Locust), though this could stem from them first being encountered in a non-combat role.