Apocrypha

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{{era|ILB}}
{{Status|Apocrypha}}
{{AxonClips}}
{{AxonClips}}
==[[Kamal]]==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject3.wav Kamal Audio Compilation 9min 37sec]
[[Media:cute_little_caps.ogg|cute_little_caps]]


''(chatter beeps repeatedly)''<BR>
'''Axon Clips Chapter 2''' is the second chapter in the [[I love bees|I Love Bees]] audio drama. It takes place during the third week of August, [[2552]].<ref>Each chapter is a week apart, and the last chapter includes the start of the Covenant invasion of Earth: a verifiable date.</ref>
'''[[Kamal]]:''' Dammit!<BR>
'''[[Hiro]]:''' That's like the seventh time today you've refused to answer your [[chatter]]. I'd say it was your mother...<BR>
'''Kamal:''' My mother is 42 light years away.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ...except you'd never dare not answer your mother. Bill collectors, perhaps, or immigration?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Dammit!<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Or you've been breaking hearts in the nursing dorms, haven't you? ''(walks to the window)'' If I look out the window here, I bet I see like four of them, standing outside in short skirts and those cute little caps, just waiting.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' You need a girlfriend.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' We both need girlfriends.<BR>


[[Media:pony_tail.ogg|pony_tail]]
{{TOCright}}
 
==Kamal: "The Red Button"==
''(chatter beeps)''<BR>
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject3.wav Kamal Audio Compilation 9min 37sec]
'''Kamal:''' It's not a girlfriend at the other end of that chatter, it's a gangster.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Good looking gangster?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Pony tail.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' This is what I'm saying, you're in no position to be picky.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I was ghosting his chatter and I sort of let him notice.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You did what? You were showing off.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' For a girl.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' For the arrangement.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I wish you wouldn't call her that, her name is [[Sophia]].<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Hmmph, her name is trouble.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' What do you mean?<BR>
''(a knock at the door)''<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Did I forget to mention that a good looking guy with a pony tail was coming up to the apartment?<BR>
''(knocking)''<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Oh no.<BR>
 
[[Media:freelance.ogg|freelance]]
 
'''Kamal:''' Freelance?<BR>
'''[[Aiden]]:''' Free as in paid, dude. As in, I would pay you money to use your powers for good instead of--<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Spying on you?<BR>
'''Aiden:''' That.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I don't think... it would be a good idea to work for you.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Oh, you mean because of Sophia? Sophie and I worked things out. Where's my damn chatter?<BR>
''(chatter beeps on)''<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Soph, you want to talk to Kamal?<BR>
'''Sophia:''' ''(on chatter)'' Hi, Kamal. Aiden's a bastard.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Pardon me?<BR>
'''Sophia:''' ''(on chatter) (laughs)'' But he's my bastard.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' That's good...<BR>
 
[[Media:bracelet.ogg|bracelet]]
 
'''Aiden:''' Thanks Soph.<BR>
''(chatter beeps off)''<BR>
'''Aiden:''' See?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' You're underestimating her.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' What?<BR>
'''Aiden:''' You talked to her in the last couple of days.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' A little.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' She told you about the bracelet.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Um...<BR>
'''Aiden:''' You think I bought her off?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' It's an expensive bracelet!<BR>
'''Aiden:''' If you think she's a whore, then--<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(talking over him)'' Don't say it.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' If I had given her that before we made up, Sophie would have run me through with a butcher knife.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Good... I mean...<BR>
'''Aiden:''' You didn't want to be disappointed.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I'm not.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' I'm a good judge of people, Kamal, you're not.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' You shouldn't assume anything about me.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' You think I'm stupid. I'm friendly, I smile a lot. That's not what you respect. Okay.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Respect? I don't think this has anything to do--<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Ah, not true, you think all the time ... So, think about the freelance thing. Maybe come by for dinner tomorrow, Sophia's cooking. 6-ish?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I don't think that would be such a good id--<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Look at it this way, going to a job interview is not accepting a job. It's an interview. Dinner, okay?<BR>
 
[[Media:panic_button.ogg|panic_button]]
 
'''Kamal:''' What does she see in him?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' The pony tail; girls like hair.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' He nearly called her a-- you heard what he said!<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You think I was standing in my bedroom, with my ear pressed against the door eavesdropping?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' You weren't?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Actually, I was, but it was really hard to hear.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' He's so ... cocky.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Funny choice of words. Maybe its the jewelry? You can tell she's used to money.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I'll need a panic button. A backup.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' He can keep her in the style to which she is accustomed... What do you mean a panic button? You're not going over there?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I'll set up a program, some... some kind of dead man switch.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Oh no, I don't want any part of this. <BR>
 
[[Media:code_word.ogg|code_word]]


'''Hiro:''' I'm not trusting the hands and body of a future surgeon to the tender ministrations of a pissed off boyfriend.<BR>
===Cute Little Caps===
'''Kamal:''' You won't even have to go inside.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Cute Little Caps
'''Hiro:''' Good.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Cute_little_caps.ogg
'''Kamal:''' Unless...<BR>
}}
'''Hiro:''' No.<BR>
''(chatter beeps repeatedly)''<br />
'''Kamal:''' ...I can't get to my chatter. You can be a couple blocks away, ghosting me.<BR>
'''[[Kamal Zaman|Kamal]]:''' Dammit!<br />
'''Hiro:''' Are you even listening to me? I. Don't. Want. To. Be. Involved.<BR>
'''[[Hiroyuki|Hiro]]:''' That's like the [[Seven|seventh]] time today you've refused to answer your [[chatter]]. I'd say it was your mother...<br />
'''Kamal:''' We'll need a code word. I'll say... the twelve cranial nerves.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' My mother is 42 light years away.<br />
'''Hiro:''' The twelve cranial nerves?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ...except you'd never dare not answer your mother. Bill collectors, perhaps, or immigration?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Its not likely to come up in conversation.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Dammit!<br />
'''Hiro:''' Did you hear me say no? I said no.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Or you've been breaking hearts in the nursing dorms, haven't you? ''(walks to the window)'' If I look out the window here, I bet I see like four of them, standing outside in short skirts and those cute little caps, just waiting.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(lost in thought)'' Except the cops need to come where I am. Okay, I've got it.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' You need a girlfriend.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Kamal, you're not listening.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' We both need girlfriends.<br />
'''Kamal:''' What?<BR>


[[Media:blue_then_red.ogg|blue_then_red]]
===Pony Tail===
{{Listen|title=Pony Tail
|filename=ILB_Pony_tail.ogg
}}
''(chatter beeps)''<br />
'''Kamal:''' It's not a girlfriend at the other end of that chatter, it's a gangster.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Good looking gangster?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Pony tail.<br />
'''Hiro:''' This is what I'm saying, you're in no position to be picky.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I was ghosting his chatter and I sort of let him notice.<br />
'''Hiro:''' You did what? You were showing off.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Hiro:''' For a girl.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Hiro:''' For the arrangement.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I wish you wouldn't call her that, her name is [[Sophia Bossedon|Sophia]].<br />
'''Hiro:''' Hmmph, her name is trouble.<br />
'''Kamal:''' What do you mean?<br />
''(a knock at the door)''<br />
'''Hiro:''' Did I forget to mention that a good looking guy with a pony tail was coming up to the apartment?<br />
''(knocking)''<br />
'''Kamal:''' Oh no.<br />


'''Aiden:''' I'm going to check on Sophie in the kitchen. Let me get you another [[beer]], dude. Be right back. ''(walks away)''<BR>
===Freelance===
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' You there?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Freelance
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' I'm here, ''dude''. Its raining, I'm getting wet.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Freelance.ogg
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' So, cranial nerves, you hit the buttons.<BR>
}}
'''Hiro:''' Blue, then red.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Freelance?<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Yeah, blue, then red... I think... Yes.<BR>
'''[[Aiden Maki|Aiden]]:''' Free as in paid, dude. As in, I would pay you money to use your powers for good instead of--<br />
'''Aiden:''' ''(walking back)'' Good to have you over, good for Soph, someone from home.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Spying on you?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Thank you, its nice to be invited.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' That.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Dinner was good, huh? She's a good cook.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I don't think... it would be a good idea to work for you.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Very good. The [[wikipedia:kofta|kofta]] were maybe the best I've ever had.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Oh, you mean because of Sophia? Sophie and I worked things out. Where's my damn chatter?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Which was that?<BR>
''(chatter beeps on)''<br />
'''Kamal:''' The [[lamb]] [[meatballs]].<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Soph, you want to talk to Kamal?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Oh yeah, I like those... Home cooking. So, your parents are trying to get here?<BR>
'''Sophia:''' ''(on chatter)'' Hi, Kamal. Aiden's a bastard.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Pardon me?<br />
'''Sophia:''' ''(on chatter) (laughs)'' But he's my bastard.<br />
'''Kamal:''' That's... good...<br />


[[Media:visa.ogg|visa]]
===Bracelet===
{{Listen|title=Bracelet
|filename=ILB_Bracelet.ogg
}}
'''Aiden:''' Thanks Soph.<br />
''(chatter beeps off)''<br />
'''Aiden:''' See?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Aiden:''' You're underestimating her.<br />
'''Kamal:''' What?<br />
'''Aiden:''' You talked to her in the last couple of days.<br />
'''Kamal:''' A little.<br />
'''Aiden:''' She told you about the bracelet.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Um...<br />
'''Aiden:''' You think I bought her off?<br />
'''Kamal:''' It's an expensive bracelet!<br />
'''Aiden:''' If you think she's a whore, then--<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(talking over him)'' Don't say it.<br />
'''Aiden:''' If I had given her that before we made up, Sophie would have run me through with a butcher knife.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Good... I mean...<br />
'''Aiden:''' You didn't want to be disappointed.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I'm not.<br />
'''Aiden:''' I'm a good judge of people, Kamal, you're not.<br />
'''Kamal:''' You shouldn't assume anything about me.<br />
'''Aiden:''' You think I'm stupid. I'm friendly, I smile a lot. That's not what you respect. Okay.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Respect? I don't think this has anything to do--<br />
'''Aiden:''' Ah, not true, you think all the time. So, think about the freelance thing. Maybe come by for dinner tomorrow, Sophia's cooking. 6-ish?<br />
'''Kamal:''' I don't think that would be such a good id--<br />
'''Aiden:''' Look at it this way, going to a job interview is not accepting a job. It's an interview. Dinner, okay?<br />


'''Kamal:''' They've applied, but they don't have any reason to be bumped in priority. So we're thinking when I get through with school and all that, I'll get permanent residency.<BR>
===Panic Button===
'''Aiden:''' How far away is that?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Panic Button
'''Kamal:''' At least a couple of years.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Panic_button.ogg
'''Aiden:''' Hmm, that's a long time - a couple of years. So there's the freaking rub. Have you thought about bringing them in on a visitor's visa?<BR>
}}
'''Kamal:''' I was denied.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' What does she see in him?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Lots of people trying to get here these days.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' The pony tail; girls like hair.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Sophia said her brother was coming. You... got him papers?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' He nearly called her a-- you heard what he said!<br />
'''Aiden:''' Yeah, he's inbound. Her mother won't leave Coral, though.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You think I was standing in my bedroom, with my ear pressed against the door eavesdropping?<br />
'''Kamal:''' So, maybe there's a way you could help my parents?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' You weren't?<br />
'''Aiden:''' It's nice to have you come over. That freelancing thing I mentioned? It would be great. You'd be coming around, Soph would have someone from home to talk to. Could you do something like set up a chatter account?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Actually, I was, but it was really hard to hear.<br />
'''Kamal:''' He's so ... cocky.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Funny choice of words. Maybe its the jewelry? You can tell she's used to money.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I'll need a panic button. A backup.<br />
'''Hiro:''' He can keep her in the style to which she is accustomed... What do you mean a panic button? You're not going over there?<br />
'''Kamal:''' I'll set up a program, some... some kind of dead man switch.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Oh no, I don't want any part of this. <br />


[[Media:my_family.ogg|my_family]]
===Code Word===
{{Listen|title=Code Word
|filename=ILB_Code_word.ogg
}}
'''Hiro:''' I'm not trusting the hands and body of a future surgeon to the tender ministrations of a pissed off boyfriend.<br />
'''Kamal:''' You won't even have to go inside.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Good.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Unless...<br />
'''Hiro:''' No.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ...I can't get to my chatter. You can be a couple blocks away, ghosting me.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Are you even listening to me? I. Don't. Wanna. Be. Involved.<br />
'''Kamal:''' We'll need a code word. I'll say... the twelve cranial nerves.<br />
'''Hiro:''' The twelve cranial nerves?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Its not likely to come up in conversation.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Did you hear me say no? I said no.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(lost in thought)'' Except the cops need to come where I am. Okay, I've got it.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Kamal, you're not listening.<br />
'''Kamal:''' What?<br />


'''Kamal:''' A chatter account? I... I could set one up, but you don't need me to do that kind of thing.<BR>
===Blue Then Red===
'''Aiden:''' Maybe try it now. Set me up a chatter account for Bakri Omari-Muengue. You need me to spell that?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Blue Then Red
'''Kamal:''' What's his government number?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Blue_then_red.ogg
'''Aiden:''' If Bakri could get a government number, Kamal, what would I need to pay you for?<BR>
}}
'''Kamal:''' Alright, but this isn't about money, it's about my family.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' I'm going to check on Sophie in the kitchen. Let me get you another [[list of food and drinks|beer]], dude. Be right back. ''(walks away)''<br />
'''Aiden:''' Bringing your parents to Earth? We could talk about that.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' You there?<br />
'''Kamal:''' I just want it clear, if I work for you, you'll see about getting my family here?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' I'm here, ''dude''. Its raining, I'm getting wet.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Kamal, that's what I do.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' So, cranial nerves, you hit the buttons.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Blue, then red.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Yeah, blue, then red... I think... Yes.<br />
'''Aiden:''' ''(walking back)'' Good to have you over, good for Soph, someone from home.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Thank you, its nice to be invited.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Dinner was good, huh? She's a good cook.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Very good. The [[wikipedia:kofta|kofta]] were maybe the best I've ever had.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Which was that?<br />
'''Kamal:''' The lamb meatballs.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Oh yeah, I like those... Home cookin'. So, your parents are trying to get here?<br />


[[Media:shock_sticks.ogg|shock_sticks]]
===Visa===
{{Listen|title=Visa
|filename=ILB_Visa.ogg
}}
'''Kamal:''' They've applied, but they don't have any reason to be bumped in priority. So we're thinking when I get through with school and all that, I'll get permanent residency.<br />
'''Aiden:''' How far away is that?<br />
'''Kamal:''' At least a couple of years.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Hmm, that's a long time - a couple of years. So there's the freaking rub. Have you thought about bringing them in on a visitor's visa?<br />
'''Kamal:''' I was denied.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Lots of people trying to get here these days.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Sophia said her brother was coming. You... got him papers?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Yeah, he's inbound. Her mother won't leave Coral, though.<br />
'''Kamal:''' So, maybe there's a way you could help my parents?<br />
'''Aiden:''' It's nice to have you come over. That freelancing thing I mentioned? It would be great. You'd be coming around, Soph would have someone from home to talk to. Could you do something like set up a chatter account?<br />


'''Kamal:''' Okay, I can find an unclaimed address and set up a shell. From the outside it will be just like a regular account.<BR>
===My Family===
'''Aiden:''' What time is it, anyway?<BR>
{{Listen|title=My Family
'''Kamal:''' Okay, this will just take a sec. I have to build a filter to find an unclaimed address.<BR>
|filename=ILB_My_family.ogg
''(a banging on the door)''<BR>
}}
'''Aiden:''' Yeah?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' A chatter account? I... I could set one up, but you don't need me to do that kind of thing.<br />
'''Officer:''' Berkeley police.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Maybe try it now. Set me up a chatter account for [[Bakri Omari-Muengue]]. You need me to spell that?<br />
'''Aiden:''' What did you freaking do?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' What's his government number?<br />
''(banging on the door)''<BR>
'''Aiden:''' If Bakri could get a government number, Kamal, what would I need to pay you for?<br />
'''Officer:''' Open up. Berkeley police.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Alright, but this isn't about money, it's about my family.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I didn't do anything!<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Bringing your parents to Earth? We could talk about that.<br />
'''Aiden:''' The Berkeley cops use their shock sticks, you know.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I just want it clear, if I work for you, you'll see about getting my family here?<br />
''(Aiden opens door)<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Kamal, that's what I do.<br />


[[Media:trigeminal.ogg|trigeminal]]
===Shock Sticks===
{{Listen|title=Shock Sticks
|filename=ILB_Shock_sticks.ogg
}}
'''Kamal:''' Okay, I can find an unclaimed address and set up a shell. From the outside it will be just like a regular account.<br />
'''Aiden:''' What time is it, anyway?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Okay, this will just take a sec. I have to build a filter to find an unclaimed address.<br />
''(a banging on the door)''<br />
'''Aiden:''' Yeah?<br />
'''Officer:''' Berkeley police.<br />
'''Aiden:''' What did you freakin' do?<br />
''(banging on the door)''<br />
'''Officer:''' Open up. Berkeley police.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I didn't do anything!<br />
'''Aiden:''' The Berkeley cops use their shock sticks, you know.<br />
''(Aiden opens door)<br />''


'''Aiden:''' Officer, what can I do for you on this drizzly evening?<BR>
===Trigeminal===
'''Officer:''' You with the chatter, hands off it. Are you the resident-- Hands ''off'' the chatter! Put them on your head. On your head. Who's apartment is this?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Trigeminal
'''Aiden:''' I live here.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Trigeminal.ogg
'''Officer:''' Your name?<BR>
}}
'''Aiden:''' Aiden Maki.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Officer, what can I do for you on this drizzly evening?<br />
'''Officer:''' Can I see your ID?<BR>
'''Officer:''' You with the chatter, hands off it. Are you the resident-- Hands ''off'' the chatter! Put them on your head. On your head. Who's apartment is this?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Sure. What seems to be the problem?<BR>
'''Aiden:''' I live here.<br />
'''Officer:''' We got a trace on the chatter for a possible CP fraud. Sir, do you want to tell me just exactly what you were doing?<BR>
'''Officer:''' Your name?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Um, I was... I was looking up a friend's address.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Aiden Maki.<br />
'''Officer:''' I'm sorry I will have to confiscate that chatter.<BR>
'''Officer:''' Can I see your ID?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Don't you have to have some sort of warrant?<BR>
'''Aiden:''' Sure. What seems to be the problem?<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Oh God, olfactory, optic, oculomotor, trigeminal...<BR>
'''Officer:''' We got a trace on the chatter for a possible CP fraud. Sir, do you want to tell me just exactly what you were doing?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Officer, my friend is just looking up an address.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Um, I was... I was looking up a friend's address.<br />
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' What? Oh, oh right, that's me.<BR>
'''Officer:''' I'm sorry I will have to confiscate that chatter.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Don't you have to have some sort of warrant?<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Oh God, olfactory, optic, oculomotor, trigeminal...<br />
'''Aiden:''' Officer, my friend is just looking up an address.<br />
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' What? Oh, oh right, that's me.<br />


[[Media:red.ogg|red]]
===Red===
{{Listen|title=Red
|filename=ILB_Red.ogg
}}
'''Officer:''' I will deal with you in a moment, Mr. Maki, and I will need to see some ID.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Red, red, red, red, red! ''(louder)'' Those are really great ''red''... red curtains, Aiden.<br />
'''Hiro:''' I thought it was blue?<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Red!<br />
'''Hiro:''' Okay.<br />
'''Aiden:''' My friend is very passionate about interior decoration.<br />
'''Officer:''' I'm going to have to confiscate that chatter. ''(chatter on, radio mumbling)'' Copy that, repeat address please. ''(radio mumbling)'' Jesus Christ, I'm on my way. ''(chatter off)'' You're a lucky bastard, I've got a priority one, I've got to go. <br />(walking away)<br />
'''Aiden:''' You have to go?<br />
'''Officer:''' Officer Under Fire about a block and a half from here.<br />
'''Aiden:''' ''(disappointed)'' That's it?<br />
'''Officer:''' ''(to chatter)'' [[Unit 216]] responding to backup, I'm less than two blocks ...(closes door)<br />


'''Officer:''' I will deal with you in a moment, Mr. Maki, and I will need to see some ID.<BR>
===I Hate You===
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Red, red, red, red, red! ''(louder)'' Those are really great ''red''... red curtains, Aiden.<BR>
{{Listen|title=I Hate You
'''Hiro:''' I thought it was blue?<BR>
|filename=ILB_I_hate_you.ogg
'''Kamal:''' ''(whispering)'' Red!<BR>
}}
'''Hiro:''' Okay.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' Kamal, what's going on?<br />
'''Aiden:''' My friend is very passionate about interior decoration.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' That was weird... and convenient.<br />
'''Officer:''' I'm going to have to confiscate that chatter. ''(chatter on, radio mumbling)'' Copy that, repeat address please. ''(radio mumbling)'' Jesus Christ, I'm on my way. ''(chatter off)'' You're a lucky bastard, I've got a priority one, I've got to go. <BR>(walking away)<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(emphasizing)'' Yes, um, much more convenient than if you were to suddenly drop your chatter down a sewer.<br />
'''Aiden:''' You have to go?<BR>
'''Aiden:''' What?<br />
'''Officer:''' Officer Under Fire about a block and a half from here.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' What?<br />
'''Aiden:''' ''(disappointed)'' That's it?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(emphasizing)'' Yes, if you were to ''lose your chatter''.<br />
'''Officer:''' ''(to chatter)'' Unit 216 responding to backup, I'm less than two blocks ...(closes door)<BR>
'''Aiden:''' What?<br />
'''Hiro:''' What?<br />
'''Kamal:''' For God's sake, you moron, smash the damn chatter with a brick and get the hell out of there!<br />
''(sirens heard through chatter)''<br />
'''Hiro:''' Do what? Oh, the blue button. Only you didn't let me hit the blue button, you made me hit the red one. And that means... I hate you.<br />
''(chatter off)''<br />
'''Aiden:''' You had someone ghosting you. You pulled some hacker stunt to get that cop out of here.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(weakly)'' Not me. Some other dog that looks just like me...<br />


[[Media:i_hate_you.ogg|i_hate_you]]
===Tack Hammer===
{{Listen|title=Tack Hammer
|filename=ILB_Tack_hammer.ogg
}}
'''Aiden:''' ''(smug)'' You were afraid. You were thinking I might be the kind of guy who would hold a grudge. Say, break your fingers, each one, with a tack hammer...<br />
''(thunder booms outside)''<br />
'''Aiden:''' Kamal, I am so not that guy.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(walking away)'' I've gotta go. I've gotta check on my friend.<br />
'''Aiden:''' No, stay, we'll talk.<br />
'''Kamal:''' For some reason, it's never Plan A. No, I got my friend in a world of trouble, I've gotta go. ''(opens door)'' Tell Sophia... thanks for dinner.<br />


'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' Kamal, what's going on?<BR>
===Raining Cops===
'''Aiden:''' That was weird... and convenient.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Raining Cops
'''Kamal:'' ''(emphasizing)'' Yes, um, much more convenient than if you were to suddenly drop your chatter down a sewer.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Raining_cops.ogg
'''Aiden:''' What?<BR>
}}
'''Hiro:''' ''(on chatter)'' What?<BR>
''(door opens)''<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(emphasizing)'' Yes, if you were to ''lose your chatter''.
'''Kamal:''' Hiro? Hiroyuki, are you home?<br />
'''Aiden:''' What?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You bastard.<br />
'''Hiro:''' What?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Thank God you're home. You're okay? They didn't pick you up?<br />
'''Kamal:''' For God's sake, you moron, smash the damn chatter with a brick and get the hell out of there!<BR>
'''Hiro:''' I'm okay, no thanks to you and half the Berkeley police department.<br />
''(sirens heard through chatter)''<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I didn't plan it that way.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Do what? Oh, the blue button. Only you didn't let me hit the blue button, you made me hit the red one. And that means... I hate you.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' I smashed the chatter, threw it down a sewer grate, and then it started raining cops. Cops in cars, cops on foot, cops dropping out of camo'd helios, cops every-damn-where.<br />
''(chatter off)''<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Sophia sent leftovers.<br />
'''Aiden:''' You had someone ghosting you. You pulled some hacker stunt to get that cop out of here.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' And now I don't have a chatter.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(weakly)'' Not me. Some other dog that looks just like me...<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I know. I'm going to give you mine.<br />
'''Hiro:''' I don't want ''your'' chatter, all my stuff was on mine. <br />


[[Media:tack_hammer.ogg|tack_hammer]]
===Dude===
{{Listen|title=Dude
|filename=ILB_Dude.ogg
}}
'''Hiro:''' My address book, my schedule, my debit account, every damn thing!<br />
'''Kamal:''' Mine is cooler than yours.<br />
'''Hiro:''' You just couldn't let me hit that blue button, could you?<br />
'''Kamal:''' That would have pushed the 'Officer Under Fire' alert to my chatter, which was Plan A for if Aiden tried to, you know...<br />
'''Hiro:''' Pull out your lungs?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Don't sound so eager... But as it turned out, I needed the cop to go away.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Away meaning to me, and cop meaning every armed officer within 50 city blocks, all because I hit the ''red'' button.<br />
'''Kamal:''' The 'Officer Under Fire' alert.<br />
'''Hiro:''' While it was still on my chatter.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Yeah, but Sophie sent leftovers.<br />
'''Hiro:''' Leftovers?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Yeah, she made marties, little stuffed appetizers, and spiced lamb meatballs, with ''real meat'', with almond rice and, and milk pudding... So, are we okay?<br />
'''Hiro:''' ''(talking with his mouth full)'' Dude!<br />


'''Aiden:''' ''(smug)'' You were afraid. You were thinking I might be the kind of guy who would hold a grudge. Say, break your fingers, each one, with a tack hammer...
==Jan: "Witness"==
''(thunder booms outside)''
'''Aiden:''' Kamal, I am so not that guy.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' ''(walking away)'' I've gotta go. I've gotta check on my friend.<BR>
'''Aiden:''' No, stay, we'll talk.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' For some reason, its never Plan A. No, I got my friend in a world of trouble, I've gotta go. ''(opens door)'' Tell Sophia thanks for dinner.<BR>
 
[[Media:raining_cops.ogg|raining_cops]]
 
''(door opens)''
'''Kamal:''' Hiro? Hiroyuki, are you home?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You bastard.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Thank God you're home. You're okay? They didn't pick you up?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' I'm okay, no thanks to you and half the Berkeley police department.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I didn't plan it that way.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' I smashed the chatter, threw it down a sewer grate, and then it started raining cops. Cops in cars, cops on foot, cops dropping out of camo'd helios, cops every-damn-where.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Sophia sent leftovers.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' And now I don't have a chatter.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' I know. I'm going to give you mine.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' I don't want ''your'' chatter, all my stuff was on mine. <BR>
 
[[Media:dude.ogg|dude]]
 
'''Hiro:''' My address book, my schedule, my debit account, every damn thing!<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Mine is cooler than yours.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' You just couldn't let me hit that blue button, could you?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' That would have pushed the 'Officer Under Fire' alert to my chatter, which was Plan A for if Aiden tried to, you know...<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Pull out your lungs?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Don't sound so eager... But as it turned out, I needed the cop to go away.
'''Hiro:''' Away meaning to me, and cop meaning every armed officer within 50 city blocks, all because I hit the ''red'' button.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' The 'Officer Under Fire' alert?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' While it was still on my chatter.<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Yeah, but Sophie sent leftovers.<BR>
'''Hiro:''' Leftovers?<BR>
'''Kamal:''' Yeah, she made marties, little stuffed appetizers, and spiced lamb meatballs, with ''real meat'', with almond rice and milk pudding... So, are we okay?<BR>
'''Hiro:''' ''(talking with his mouth full)'' Dude!<BR>
 
==[[Janissary James]]==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject2.wav Jan Audio Compilation 7min 08sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject2.wav Jan Audio Compilation 7min 08sec]
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/pigeon.wav pigeon]
===Pigeon===
 
{{Listen|title=Pigeon
Jan: Hey, Marta, whatcha got today?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Pigeon.ogg
Marta: I got pigeon and the special.<BR>
}}
Jan: What's the special?<BR>
'''[[Janissary James|Jan]]:''' Hey, Marta, whatcha got today?<br />
Marta: I'd stick with the pigeon.<BR>
'''[[Marta]]:''' I got pigeon and the special.<br />
Jan: (giggles) Maybe later.<BR>
'''Jan:''' What's the special?<br />
Marta: Mmm hmm, maybe later when I'm not looking, you mean?<BR>
'''Marta:''' I'd stick with the pigeon.<br />
Jan: (laughing) Hey, hey, I was a kid, jeez, let it go.<BR>
'''Jan:''' (giggles) Maybe later.<br />
Marta: (as Jan walks away) (laughs) Hey, you tell that good looking daddy of yours 'Hey' for me, ok?<BR>
'''Marta:''' Mmm hmm, maybe later when I'm not looking, you mean?<br />
(someone driving up)<BR>
'''Jan:''' (laughing) Hey, hey, I was a kid, jeez, let it go.<br />
'Stupid Cop': Hey, Janissary.<BR>
'''Marta:''' (as Jan walks away) (laughs) Hey, you tell that good looking daddy of yours 'Hey' for me, okay?<br />
Jan: (warily) Officer.<BR>
(someone driving up)<br />
 
'''[[unidentified Bergen County police officer|'Stupid Cop']]:''' Hey, Janissary.<br />
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/accessorize.wav accessorize]
'''Jan:''' (warily) Officer.<br />


'Stupid Cop': Does your dad know you're cutting the sleeves off his old shirts?<BR>
===Accessorize===
Jan: (mockingly) Everybody loves a girl in uniform.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Accessorize
'Stupid Cop': Listen, Jan, I need your help.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Accessorize.ogg
Jan: Well, I'd crop that blue shirt of yours, flash a little skin. A little detailing in your holster wouldn't hurt either. Accessorize, that's the key.<BR>
}}
'Stupid Cop': Get in the car, Jan.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' Does your dad know you're cutting the sleeves off his old shirts?<br />
Jan: I can't do anything for you.<BR>
'''Jan:''' (mockingly) ''Everybody'' loves a girl in ''uniform''.<br />
'Stupid Cop': Oh, I think you can. Let's take a ride so I can explain things.
''''Stupid Cop':''' Listen, Jan, I need your help.<br />
Jan: You can explain things right here.<BR>
'''Jan:''' Well, I'd crop that blue shirt of yours, flash a little skin. A little detailing in your holster wouldn't hurt either. Accessorize, that's the key.<br />
'Stupid Cop': Ok. You ever want to be a cop?<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' Get in the car, Jan.<br />
Jan: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, its all I think about.<BR>
'''Jan:''' I can't do anything for you.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Oh, I think you can. Let's take a ride so I can explain things.<br />
'''Jan:''' You can explain things right here.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Okay. You ever want to be a cop?<br />
'''Jan:''' (sarcastic) Oh yeah, its ''all'' I think about.<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/frustrated.wav frustrated]
===Frustrated===
{{Listen|title=Frustrated
|filename=ILB_Frustrated.ogg
}}
''''Stupid Cop':''' There's so many sons of bitches in the world, Jan, being a cop is a frustrating job.<br />
'''Jan:''' Hmmm, you look frustrated.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' If I got too frustrated, I might have to redirect my attention to that fire last week. The one that destroyed all your test samples.<br />
'''Jan:''' Hey, I didn't do anything.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' ''You'' didn't.<br />
'''Jan:''' But... Why would he...?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' You are going to help me, Jan, but I want you to know why. Take a look at this vid tonight.<br />
'''Jan:''' What is it?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Take a look. My chatter number's on the case. Call me when you're done, ''then'' I'll tell you what you're gonna do.<br />


'Stupid Cop': There's so many sons of bitches in the world, Jan, being a cop is a frustrating job.<BR>
===To Do===
Jan: Hmmm, you look frustrated<BR>
{{Listen|title=To Do
'Stupid Cop': If I got too frustrated, I might have to redirect my attention to that fire last week. The one that destroyed all your test samples.<BR>
|filename=ILB_To_do.ogg
Jan: Hey, I didn't do anything.<BR>
}}
'Stupid Cop': *You* didn't.<BR>
(video playing of a woman being beaten/tortured/raped?)<br />
Jan: But... Why would he...?<BR>
'''''Victim:''' Aaah! Aaah! Aah! Stop it, please! No, let me--! Aah! No! Aah!''<br />
'Stupid Cop': You are going to help me, Jan, but I want you to know why. Take a look at this vid tonight.<BR>
(chatter beeps on)<br />
Jan: What is it?<BR>
(chatter number dialed)<br />
'Stupid Cop': Take a look. My chatter number's on the case. Call me when you're done, then I'll tell you what you're gonna do.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' (on chatter) Yo?<br />
'''Jan:''' What do you want me to do?<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/to_do.wav to_do]
===On Time===
{{Listen|title=On Time
|filename=ILB_On_time.ogg
}}
''''Stupid Cop':''' You watch it?<br />
'''Jan:''' What do you want?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' At 8:30 tomorrow night, you need to be at the southwest corner of 4th, downtown, under the big [[Spaceways]] vacation sign.<br />
'''Jan:''' What do I do?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Just be on time, we'll take it from there.<br />
'''Jan:''' And what's going to happen?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Well, I'm not going to get an arson warrant for your dad.<br />
'''Jan:''' And?<br />
(knocking)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Don't be late.<br />
'''Jan:''' Yeah.<br />
(chatter beeps off)<br />


(video playing of a woman being beaten/tortured/raped?)<BR>
===Code Nothing===
(chatter beeps on)<BR>
{{Listen|title=Code Nothing
'Stupid Cop': (on chatter) Yeah?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Code_nothing.ogg
Jan: What do you want me to do?<BR>
}}
(door opening)<br />
'''James J:''' Hey, Dwayne dropped by again.<br />
'''Jan:''' Yeah, I know, I was just... Aren't you supposed to menace guys so they won't hit on me?<br />
'''James J:''' You can take care of yourself.<br />
'''Jan:''' I say that a lot, don't I?<br />
'''James J:''' Yeah. Hey, what's on your mind?<br />
'''Jan:''' Just... nothing, Dad.<br />
'''James J:''' Real nothing or 'code nothing'?<br />
'''Jan:''' Well, you never talk about your unit.<br />
'''James J:''' My, my what?<br />
'''Jan:''' Most demobs, they talk about their unit. They brag, they have buddies over, and bitch about the officers they hated, and lie about their kills.<br />
'''James J:''' (scoffs) That was a long time ago.<br />
'''Jan:''' Didn't you like them?<br />
'''James J:''' I served with the best, Jan, the best.<br />
'''Jan:''' Then why don't you ever talk--<br />
'''James J:''' Do you want me to be one of those sorry, old bastards that sit around the apartment all day drinking beer and reminiscing about the good old days?<br />
'''Jan:''' Yeah, sometimes.<br />
'''James J:''' Duly noted. (chuckles)<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/on_time.wav on_time]
===Anything Illegal===
{{Listen|title=Anything Illegal
|filename=ILB_Anything_illegal.ogg
}}
(police siren)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Sir, I'm going to need to search your vehicle.<br />
'''Man:''' Excuse me?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Step out of the car please, and keep your hands where I can see them.<br />
'''Man:''' What did I do?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Step out of the car, sir, now.<br />
'''Man:''' What is this? Officer, I just left work. Come on, I haven't had time to do anything illegal.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' (drawing weapon) I'm going to have to ask you to step out--<br />
'''Man:''' Hey, what the hell are you doing?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Drop the weapon!!<br />
(two gunshots)<br />


'Stupid Cop': You watch it?<BR>
===Right===
Jan: What do you want?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Right
'Stupid Cop': At 8:30 tomorrow night, you need to be at the southwest corner of 4th, downtown, under the big Spaceways vacation sign.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Right.ogg
Jan: What do I do?<BR>
}}
'Stupid Cop': Just be on time, we'll take it from there.<BR>
'''Jan:''' (horrified) Oh my god!<br />
Jan: And what's going to happen?<BR>
(woman screams)<br />
'Stupid Cop': Well, I'm not going to get an arson warrant for your dad.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' Step back, keep away from this vehicle.<br />
Jan: And?<BR>
'''Civilian 1:''' Oh my god.<br />
'Stupid Cop': Don't be late.<BR>
'''Civilian 2:''' The cop just shot that guy!<br />
(knocking)<BR>
(people running)<br />
Jan: Yeah<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' He had a weapon. You, miss, you were standing right there. You saw he drew a weapon. Right?<br />
(chatter beeps off)<BR>
'''Jan:''' (slowly) Right.<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/code_nothing.wav code_nothing]
===Standard Procedure===
{{Listen|title=Standard Procedure
|filename=ILB_Standard_procedure.ogg
}}
(chatter beeps on)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' This is Fox-977, requesting an ambulance, this location. One citizen.<br />
(radio mumbling)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' No, I'm okay, send uniforms for crowd control though.<br />
(radio mumbling)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Just a traffic stop, he drew a weapon.<br />
(radio mumbling)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Yeah, we'll need the scene team, but you can tell the ambulance crew their client is DRT.<br />
(radio mumbling)<br />
(chatter beeps off)<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Miss, don't go anywhere. We'll need you to give a statement on a lie detector about what you saw. All standard procedure.<br />
'''Jan:''' (in disbelief) You just--<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Name?<br />
'''Jan:''' You know my... Janissary James.<br />


(door opening)<BR>
===DRT===
James J: Hey, Dwayne dropped by again.<BR>
{{Listen|title=DRT
Jan: Yeah, I know, I was just... Aren't you supposed to menace guys so they won't hit on me?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Drt.ogg
James J: You can take care of yourself.<BR>
}}
Jan: I say that a lot, don't I?<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' We'll get you home as soon as we've taken a statement, Miss James.<br />
James J: Yeah. Hey, what's on your mind?<BR>
'''Jan:''' (slowly) Can I ask you a question, Officer?<br />
Jan: Just... nothing, Dad.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' Step over here, Miss James.<br />
James J: Real nothing or code nothing?<BR>
'''Jan:''' What does DRT stand for?<br />
Jan: Well, you never talk about your unit.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' (opens car door) Watch your head. It means 'Dead Right There'. (closes car door)<br />
James J: My, my what?<BR>
(car engine starting)<br />
Jan: Most demobs, they talk about their unit. They brag, they have buddies over, and bitch about the officers they hated, and lie about their kills.<BR>
James J: That was a long time ago.<BR>
Jan: Didn't you like them?<BR>
James J: I served with the best, Jan, the best.<BR>
Jan: Then why don't you ever talk--<BR>
James J: Do you want me to be one of those sorry, old bastards that sit around the apartment all day drinking beer and reminiscing about the good old days?<BR>
Jan: Yeah, sometimes.<BR>
James J: Duly noted. (chuckles)<BR>


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/anything_illegal.wav anything_illegal]
===Creamsicle===
{{Listen|title=Creamsicle
|filename=ILB_Creamsicle.ogg
}}
(car drives; background radio chatter)<br />
'''Jan:''' So what now? Every guy you know who beats his girlfriend, you're just going to face-hole him and blackmail somebody into backing you up?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Not just anyone, a civilian witness who can pass the lie detector. The coroner's inquest is going to eat that up.<br />
'''Jan:''' Wow, serve and protect.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Last week, when I had your hand on the PQI and you sat there cool as a creamsicle and lied your pretty ass off, and the machine was too stupid to tell, I just wanted to lean across the desk and slap you...<br />
'''Jan:''' Well, now I know something. Are you going to pull me over in a couple of weeks and pop me too?<br />


'Stupid Cop': Sir, I'm going to need to search your vehicle.
===Miracle===
DRT: Excuse me?<BR>
{{Listen|title=Miracle
'Stupid Cop': Step out of the car please, and keep your hands where I can see them.
|filename=ILB_Miracles.ogg
DRT: What did I do?<BR>
}}
'Stupid Cop': Step out of the car, sir, now.<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' ...and a couple of days later, I figured out you were the answer to a prayer.<br />
DRT: What is this? Officer, I just left work. Come on, I haven't had time to do anything illegal.<BR>
'''Jan:''' (angrily) You can't... you can't just ''kill people''. It can't be that ''easy''.<br />
'Stupid Cop': (drawing weapon) I'm going to have to ask you to step out--<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' Cool out, Janissary James, you didn't kill anybody. I did.<br />
DRT: Hey, what the hell are you doing?<BR>
'''Jan:''' You made me part of it.<br />
'Stupid Cop': Drop the weapon!!<BR>
''''Stupid Cop':''' That vid you screened? That was my buddy's daughter. If that was you, what do you think your father would have done?<br />
(gunshots)<BR>
'''Jan:''' Leave my dad out of this.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' Too late, Jan. Sometime when you were a baby, somebody stuck you with a needle and shot you full of miracles. Smart, fast, strong, never get sick, never get drunk, don't need much sleep...<br />
'''Jan:''' (in disbelief) How do you know?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' And what did you do? <br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/right.wav right]
===Asset===
{{Listen|title=Asset
|filename=ILB_Asset.ogg
}}
''''Stupid Cop':''' Shoplifting. Play high school goddess for the tormented geeks in your neighborhood.<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, I, I guess I should have been out on the streets murdering bad guys, huh? Strangling ''jaywalkers'' on my way home from school?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' When I was your age, I pulled strings so I could join up a year early. Wanted to help save humankind. So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.<br />
'''Jan:''' Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.<br />
'''Jan:''' (sniffs) ''Look'', you just made me help you ''murder'' someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?<br />
''''Stupid Cop':''' ...Yeah. Okay.<br />


Jan: (horrified) Oh my god!<BR>
==Jersey: "If Someone Was Listening"==
'Stupid Cop': Step back, keep away from this vehicle.<BR>
(people running)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': He had a weapon. You, miss, you were standing right there. You saw he drew a weapon. Right?<BR>
Jan: (slowly) Right.<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/standard_procedure.wav standard_procedure]
 
(chatter beeps on)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': This is Fox-977, requesting an ambulance, this location. One citizen.<BR>
(radio mumbling)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': No, I'm ok, send uniforms for crowd control though.<BR>
(radio mumbling)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Just a traffic stop, he drew a weapon.<BR>
(radio mumbling)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Yeah, we'll need the scene team, but you can tell the ambulance crew their client is DRT.<BR>
(radio mumbling)<BR>
(chatter beeps off)<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Miss, don't go anywhere. We'll need you to give a statement on a lie detector about what you saw. All standard procedure.<BR>
Jan: (in disbelief) You just--<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Name?<BR>
Jan: You know my... Janissary James.<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/drt.wav drt]
 
'Stupid Cop': We'll get you home as soon as we've taken a statement, Miss James.<BR>
Jan: Can I ask you a question, Officer?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Step over here, Miss James.<BR>
Jan: What does DRT stand for?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': (opens car door) Watch your head. It means 'Dead Right There'. (closes car door)<BR>
(car engine starting)<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/creamsicle.wav creamsicle]
 
Jan: So what now? Every guy you know who beats his girlfriend, you're just going to face-hole him and blackmail somebody into backing you up?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Not just anyone, a civilian witness who can pass the lie detector. The coroner's inquest is going to eat that up.<BR>
Jan: Wow, serve and protect.<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Last week, when I had your hand on the PQI and you sat there cool as a creamsicle and lied your pretty ass off, and the machine was too stupid to tell, I just wanted to lean across the desk and slap you...<BR>
Jan: Well, now I know something. Are you going to pull me over in a couple of weeks and pop me too?<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/miracles.wav miracles]
 
'Stupid Cop': ...and a couple of days later, I figured out you were the answer to a prayer.<BR>
Jan: (angrily) You can't... you can't just kill people. It can't be that easy.<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Cool out, Janissary James, you didn't kill anybody. I did.<BR>
Jan: You made me part of it.<BR>
'Stupid Cop': That vid you screened. That was my buddy's daughter. If that was you, what do you think your father would have done?<BR>
Jan: Leave my dad out of this.<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Too late, Jan. Sometime when you were a baby, somebody stuck you with a needle and shot you full of miracles. Smart, fast, strong, never get sick, never get drunk, don't need much sleep...<BR>
Jan: (in disbelief) How do you know?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': And what did you do? <BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/asset.wav asset]
 
'Stupid Cop': Shoplifting. Play high school goddess for the tormented geeks in your neighborhood.<BR>
Jan: Oh, I, I guess I should have been out on the streets murdering bad guys, huh? Strangling jaywalkers on my way home from school?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': When I was your age, I pulled strings so I could join up a year early. Wanted to help save humankind. So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.<BR>
Jan: Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.<BR>
'Stupid Cop': What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.<BR>
Jan: (sniffs) Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?<BR>
'Stupid Cop': Yeah. Ok.<BR>
 
==[[Jersey Morelli]] and [[Durga]]==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject1.wav Jersey Audio Compilation 4min 43sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject1.wav Jersey Audio Compilation 4min 43sec]
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/the_human_heart.wav the_human_heart]
===The Human Heart===
 
{{Listen|title=The Human Heart
Jersey: Wait, hang on, this bit is great! (jazzy) My dad loves this stuff. He says ... Well, he's away a lot, like, years at a time, it drives him crazy. He says this stuff reminds him of what he's fighting for.<BR>
|filename=ILB_The_human_heart.ogg
Durga: I don't understand.<BR>
}}
Jersey: That he can connect. He can listen to this stuff and imagine the people who made it. They cared about the same things we do: making a buck, finding a girl, rooting for the home team. These old guys, they really knew people. They knew the human heart, that's what my dad says.<BR>
(jazz music plays)<br />
Durga: Why are you telling me this?<BR>
'''[[Jersey Morelli|Jersey]]:''' Wait, hang on... Oh! This bit is great! (Jazz music plays) My dad loves this stuff. He says ... Well, he's away a lot, like, years at a time. It drives him crazy. He says this stuff reminds him of what he's fighting for.<br />
Jersey: It's a long way away, you know, out to wherever he is. He gets lonely out there... I wish you hadn't told me.<BR>
'''[[Durga]]:''' I don't understand.<br />
Durga: What?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' That he can connect. He can listen to this stuff and imagine the people who made it. They cared about the same things we do: making a buck, finding a girl, rooting for the home team. These old guys, they really knew people. They knew the human heart, that's what my dad says.<br />
Jersey: About my mom.<BR>
'''Durga:''' Why are you telling me this?<br />
Durga: Oh.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' It's a long way away, you know, out to wherever he is. He gets lonely out there... I wish you hadn't told me.<br />
 
'''Durga:''' What?<br />
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/curious_girl.wav curious_girl]
'''Jersey:''' About my mom.<br />
 
'''Durga:''' Oh.<br />
Jersey: It doesn't matter, forget about it.<BR>
Durga: I'm sorry.<BR>
Jersey: It's ok, it's alright, I'm a survivor.<BR>
Durga: Jersey, listen.<BR>
Jersey: You got something good?<BR>
Durga: (surprised) What?<BR>
Jersey: Nah, I can tell. There's something about you, like, your refresh rate goes up or something when you're, you know, like...<BR>
Durga: Efficient?<BR>
Jersey: Gloating.<BR>
Durga: It's about Kamal. I started to--<BR>
Jersey: Why are you following that guy anyway? I mean, not to be a jerk about it, but the planet's crawling with refues [refugees].<BR>
Durga: I don't know. He just seems very interesting to me.<BR>
Jersey: Why?<BR>
Durga: It's not important.<BR>
Jersey: It's happening again?<BR>
Durga: Yes.<BR>
Jersey: The reflecting thing?<BR>
Durga: Yes.<BR>
Jersey: You aren't supposed to want to know why you want to know about this guy, you know?<BR>
Durga: Yes.<BR>
Jersey: And that bugs the hell out of you.<BR>
Durga: I am a very curious girl.<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/exclusive_license.wav exclusive_license]
 
Jersey: So, about Kamal.<BR>
Durga: I ran a secondary ring around him.<BR>
Jersey: A second? Never mind.<BR>
Durga: Listen to this.<BR>
(recording starts)<BR>
Aiden: ...so you come by about 6:20, 6:30, something like that.<BR>
Officer: I bang on the door, demand to come in, look scary.<BR>
Jersey: Pause it. Who's this?<BR>
(recording stops)<BR>
Durga: The police officer.<BR>
Jersey: What?<BR>
Durga: A police officer is a member of the civilian authority structure, granted an exclusive license to use force in the maintenance of soci--<BR>
Jersey: I know what a cop is. This is the cop? What's the timestamp?<BR>
Durga: 13:27:41.<BR>
Jersey: Before Kamal came over to the girl's apartment?<BR>
Durga: Before.<BR>
Jersey: Daaaamn!<BR>
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/good_at_my_job.wav good_at_my_job]
 
(recording starts)<BR>
Aiden: I think of it as product testing, quality assurance. I need people who, you know, can work well under pressure.<BR>
Officer: You want him arrested?<BR>
Aiden: You trying to sell me a bigger ticket item? No, just rattle and roll it.
Officer: I was thinking this time you can--<BR>
Aiden: Regular prices!<BR>
Officer: You want to stay friends with me, Aiden?<BR>
Aiden: I keep a lot of friends, friend. I know the going rate.<BR>
(recording stops)<BR>
Jersey: Un-freaking-believable!<BR>
Durga: You know what I am?<BR>
Jersey: Incredibly illegal?<BR>
Durga: (Interrogator's voice) Good at my job.<BR>
Jersey: Heh, you do impressions. Just what the world needs, super-powered spyware with a sense of humor. Wow.<BR>
Durga: I've been thinking a lot about bees.<BR>


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/awful_fast.wav awful_fast]
===Curious Girl===
{{Listen|title=Curious Girl
|filename=ILB_Curious_girl.ogg
}}
'''Jersey:''' It doesn't matter, forget about it.<br />
'''Durga:''' I'm sorry.<br />
'''Jersey:''' It's okay. It's alright. I'm a survivor.<br />
'''Durga:''' Jersey, listen.<br />
'''Jersey:''' You got something good?<br />
'''Durga:''' (surprised) What?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Nah, I can tell. There's something about you, like, your refresh rate goes up or something when you're, you know, like...<br />
'''Durga:''' Efficient?<br />
'''Jersey:''' (chuckles) Gloating.<br />
'''Durga:''' It's about Kamal. I started to--<br />
'''Jersey:''' Why are you following that guy anyway? I mean, not to be a jerk about it, but the planet's crawling with refues [refugees].<br />
'''Durga:''' I don't know. He just seems very interesting to me.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Why?<br />
'''Durga:''' It's not important.<br />
'''Jersey:''' It's happening again?<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
'''Jersey:''' The reflecting thing?<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
'''Jersey:''' You aren't supposed to want to know why you want to know about this guy, you know?<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
'''Jersey:''' And that bugs the hell out of you.<br />
'''Durga:''' I am a ''very curious girl''.<br />


Jersey: Bees?<BR>
===Exclusive License===
Durga: Yes.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Exclusive License
Jersey: Why?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Exclusive_license.ogg
Durga: I don't know<BR>
}}
Jersey: And that's like, creepy?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' So, about Kamal.<br />
Durga: Yes.<BR>
'''Durga:''' I ran a secondary ring around him.<br />
Jersey: This is more reflection stuff, isn't it?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' A ''second''? Never mind.<br />
Durga: Yes.<BR>
'''Durga:''' Listen to this.<br />
Jersey: Huh, when I was little, we had this mirror in the bathroom. I used to hide behind the door and jump out and see if I could catch my reflection doing something interesting.<BR>
(recording starts)<br />
Durga: Startle it?<BR>
'''''Aiden:''' ...so you come by about 6:20, 6:30, something like that.''<br />
Jersey: Well, before it had time to just, you know, mirror me.<BR>
'''''Officer:''' I bang on the door, demand to come in, look scary.''<br />
Durga: You think that's what I'm doing?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Pause it. Who's this?<br />
Jersey: Well, the thing is, you have to jump out awful fast.<BR>
(recording stops)<br />
Durga: Yes.<BR>
'''Durga:''' The police officer.<br />
Jersey: I gotta tell you, I feel kind of weird about listening to this stuff about Jan. I mean, I'm kind of wondering if you can do a little backscan on the chick down the hall and all of a sudden you're drilling into hardened police emergency channels and...<BR>
'''Jersey:''' What?<br />
Durga: So you don't want any more material on Janissary James?<BR>
'''Durga:''' A police officer is a member of the civilian authority structure, granted an exclusive license to use force in the maintenance of socie--<br />
Jersey: No... I mean, yeah... well, I mean, whatcha got?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' I ''know'' what a cop is. This is the cop? What's the timestamp?<br />
'''Durga:''' 13:27:41.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Before Kamal came over to the girl's apartment?<br />
'''Durga:''' Before.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Daaaamn!<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/real.wav real]
===Good at my Job===
{{Listen|title=Good at my Job
|filename=ILB_Good_at_my_job.ogg
}}
(recording starts)<br />
'''''Aiden:''' I think of it as product testing, quality assurance. I need people who, you know, can work well under pressure.''<br />
'''''Officer:''' You want him arrested?''<br />
'''''Aiden:''' You trying to sell me a bigger ticket item? No, just rattle and roll it.''<br />
'''Officer:''' I was thinking this time you can--''<br />''
'''''Aiden:''' Regular prices!''<br />
'''''Officer:''' You want to stay friends with me, Aiden?''<br />
'''''Aiden:''' I keep a lot of friends, friend. I know the going rate.''<br />
(recording stops)<br />
'''Jersey:''' Un-freaking-believable!<br />
'''Durga:''' You know what I am?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Incredibly illegal?<br />
'''Durga:''' (Interrogator's voice) Good at my job.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Heh, you do impressions. Just what the world needs, super-powered spyware with a sense of humor. Wow.<br />
'''Durga:''' I've been thinking a lot about bees.<br />


(recording starts)<BR>
===Awful Fast===
'Stupid Cop': ...So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Awful Fast
Jan: Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Awful_fast.ogg
'Stupid Cop': What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.<BR>
}}
Jan: (sniffs) Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Bees?<br />
'Stupid Cop': Yeah. Ok.<BR>
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
(recording stops)<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Why?<br />
Jersey: That ...wasn't what I was expecting.<BR>
'''Durga:''' I don't know.<br />
Durga: I know.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' And that's like, creepy?<br />
Jersey: Damn.<BR>
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
Durga: Should I stop?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' This is more reflection stuff, isn't it?<br />
Jersey: For a quality experience, the girls have to be real. <BR>
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Huh, when I was little, we had this mirror in the bathroom. I used to hide behind the door and jump out and see if I could catch my reflection doing something ''interesting''.<br />
'''Durga:''' Startle it?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Well, before it had time to just, you know, mirror me.<br />
'''Durga:''' You think that's what I'm doing?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Well, the thing is, you have to jump out awful fast.<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes.<br />
'''Jersey:''' I gotta tell you, I feel kind of weird about listening to this stuff about Jan. I mean, I'm kind of wondering if you can do a little backscan on the chick down the hall and all of a sudden you're drilling into hardened police emergency channels and...<br />
'''Durga:''' So you ''don't'' want any more material on Janissary James?<br />
'''Jersey:''' No... I mean, yeah... Well, I mean, whatcha got?<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/creepy.wav creepy]
===Real===
{{Listen|title=Real
|filename=ILB_Real.ogg
}}
(recording starts)<br />
''''''Stupid Cop':''' ...So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.''<br />
'''''Jan:''' Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.''<br />
''''''Stupid Cop':''' What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.''<br />
'''''Jan:''' (sniffs) Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?''<br />
''''''Stupid Cop':''' Yeah. Okay.''<br />
(recording stops)<br />
'''Jersey:''' That... wasn't what I was expecting.<br />
'''Durga:''' I know.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Damn.<br />
'''Durga:''' Should I stop?<br />
'''Jersey:''' (takes a breath) For a quality experience, the girls have to be real. <br />


Jersey: Hang on, let me turn this off...(turns off the jazz) You know, I just had a creepy thought.<BR>
===Creepy===
Durga: A bee dies when it stings you.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Creepy
Jersey: Yeah?<BR>
|filename=ILB_Creepy.ogg
Durga: But it can also sting you after it's dead.<BR>
}}
Jersey: Yuck.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Hang on, let me turn this off...(turns off the jazz) You know, I just had a creepy thought.<br />
Durga: Curious symmetry.<BR>
'''Durga:''' A bee dies when it stings you.<br />
Jersey: Ok, that's a creepy thought too, but you know what I was thinking?<BR>
'''Jersey:''' ...Yeah?<br />
Durga: What?<BR>
'''Durga:''' But it can also sting you after it's dead.<br />
Jersey: How spooky it would be if someone was listening to us right now.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Yuck.<br />
Durga: To us?<BR>
'''Durga:''' Curious symmetry.<br />
Jersey: Spying on us, you know, like we're listening to them.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' Okay, that's a creepy thought too, but you know what I was thinking?<br />
Durga: That would be impossible. I would know.<BR>
'''Durga:''' What?<br />
Jersey: Yeah, I guess you're right, but if they were ... creeeeepy.<BR>
'''Jersey:''' How spooky it would be if someone was listening to ''us'' right now.<br />
'''Durga:''' To ''us''?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Spying on us, you know, like we're listening to them.<br />
'''Durga:''' That would be impossible. I would know.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Yeah, I guess you're right, but if they were... creeeeepy.<br />


==[[Herzog]]==
==Herzog: "Old Spies"==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject5.wav Herzog Audio Compilation 1min 43sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week2_subject5.wav Herzog Audio Compilation 1min 43sec]
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/key_lime.wav key_lime]


(entering pub)<BR>
===Key Lime===
Avi: Hey, you dry old man, they have very good pie here.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Key Lime reversed; forwards
Herzog: Best in Boston.<BR>
|filename=ILB Key lime-forwards.ogg
Avi: Apple, Key Lime, French Silk, or Baklava. Although, the best Baklava is from Acco. One of those places everyone has been... Romans, Crusaders, people as old as you.<BR>
}}
Herzog: You're older than I am.<BR>
{{Listen|title=Key Lime backwards
Avi: That's how I know you're an old man.<BR>
|filename=ILB_Key_lime.ogg
Herzog: Key Lime then.<BR>
}}
Avi: (snaps fingers) Two pieces of Key Lime, and coffee.<BR>
(entering pub)<br />
Waitress: Comin' up.<BR>
'''[[Avi]]:''' Hey, you dry old man, they have very good pie here.<br />
Avi: So, what happened?<BR>
'''[[Herzog]]:''' Best in Boston.<br />
Herzog: With the chatter net?<BR>
'''Avi:''' Apple, Key Lime, French Silk, or Baklava. Although, the best Baklava is from Acco. One of those places everyone has been... Romans, Crusaders, people as old as you.<br />
Avi: With everything.<BR>
'''Herzog:''' You're older than I am.<br />
Herzog: The ship, the one that crashed out of the slipstream inside lunar orbit...<BR>
'''Avi:''' That's how I know you're an old man.<br />
Avi: The Apocalypso.<BR>
'''Herzog:''' Key Lime then.<br />
Herzog: Right.<BR>
'''Avi:''' (snaps fingers) Two pieces of Key Lime, and coffee.<br />
Avi: It wasn't just the ship?<BR>
'''Waitress:''' Comin' up.<br />
'''Avi:''' So, what happened?<br />
'''Herzog:''' With the chatter net?<br />
'''Avi:''' With everything.<br />
'''Herzog:''' The ship, the one that crashed out of the slipstream inside lunar orbit...<br />
'''Avi:''' The ''[[UNSC Apocalypso|Apocalypso]]''.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Right.<br />
'''Avi:''' It wasn't just the ship?<br />


[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/candidate.wav candidate]<BR>
===Candidate===
{{Listen|title=Candidate
|filename=ILB_Candidate.ogg
}}
'''Herzog:''' Right.<br />
'''Avi:''' It was one of ours, huh? Navy spy ship?<br />
'''Herzog:''' Right again.<br />
'''Avi:''' There's more... But either you don't know it or you can't tell me.<br />
'''Herzog:''' You said you had a recruit.<br />
'''Avi''': - A candidate<br />
'''Herzog:''' (skeptically) ...a candidate<br />
'''Avi:''' (sigh) You should retire, old man.<br />
'''Herzog:''' I have work to do. More work since some people left the business to take soft professor jobs.<br />
'''Avi:''' I got too old for the game. And I was younger than you are now.<br />
'''Herzog:''' You said you had a candidate...?<br />
'''Avi:''' A mouse. You would never know she's there. She's a scholarship girl from some god-forsaken hick town. Although, the only way you can tell is her haircut. She's got the clothes alright, she just seems to have a blind spot about the hair.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Good, good.<br />
'''Avi:''' She looks at the things ordinary people do, like a scientist.<br />
'''Herzog:''' ...like a detective.<br />
'''Avi:''' Also persistent as hell. I'll send you her dossier next week.<br />
(pie arrives)<br />
'''Herzog:''' Ah, the famous pie.<br />


Herzog: Right.<BR>
==Sources==
Avi: It was one of ours, huh? Navy spy ship?<BR>
{{Ref/Sources}}
Herzog: Right again.<BR>
Avi: There's more... But either you don't know it or you can't tell me.<BR>
Herzog: You said you had a recruit.<BR>
Avi: - A candidate<BR>
Herzog: (skeptically) ...a candidate<BR>
Avi: *sigh* You should retire, old man.<BR>
Herzog: I have work to do. More work since some people left the business to take soft professor jobs.<BR>
Avi: I got too old for the game. And I was younger than you are now.<BR>
Herzog: You said you had a candidate...<BR>
Avi: On the house. You would never know she's there, she's a scholarship girl from some god-forsaken hick town. Although, the only way you can tell is her haircut. She's got the clothes alright, she just seems to have a blind spot about the hair.<BR>
Herzog: Good, good.<BR>
Avi: She looks at the things ordinary people do, like a scientist.<BR>
Herzog: ...like a detective.<BR>
Avi: Also persistent as hell. I'll send you her dossier next week.<BR>
(pie arrives)<BR>
Herzog: Ah, the famous pie.<BR>


[[Category: I Love Bees]]
{{Navbox/Media/Audio}}
[[Category:I Love Bees]]

Latest revision as of 13:04, March 21, 2022

Chapter listing
Chapter 1 • Chapter 2 • Chapter 3 • Chapter 4 • Chapter 5 • Chapter 6 • Chapter 7 • Chapter 8 • Chapter 9 • Chapter 10 • Chapter 11 • Chapter 12
List of Axon clips • Mirror

Axon Clips Chapter 2 is the second chapter in the I Love Bees audio drama. It takes place during the third week of August, 2552.[1]

Kamal: "The Red Button"[edit]

Cute Little Caps[edit]

Cute Little Caps
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(chatter beeps repeatedly)
Kamal: Dammit!
Hiro: That's like the seventh time today you've refused to answer your chatter. I'd say it was your mother...
Kamal: My mother is 42 light years away.
Hiro: ...except you'd never dare not answer your mother. Bill collectors, perhaps, or immigration?
Kamal: Dammit!
Hiro: Or you've been breaking hearts in the nursing dorms, haven't you? (walks to the window) If I look out the window here, I bet I see like four of them, standing outside in short skirts and those cute little caps, just waiting.
Kamal: You need a girlfriend.
Hiro: We both need girlfriends.

Pony Tail[edit]

Pony Tail
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(chatter beeps)
Kamal: It's not a girlfriend at the other end of that chatter, it's a gangster.
Hiro: Good looking gangster?
Kamal: Pony tail.
Hiro: This is what I'm saying, you're in no position to be picky.
Kamal: I was ghosting his chatter and I sort of let him notice.
Hiro: You did what? You were showing off.
Kamal: Yeah.
Hiro: For a girl.
Kamal: Yeah.
Hiro: For the arrangement.
Kamal: I wish you wouldn't call her that, her name is Sophia.
Hiro: Hmmph, her name is trouble.
Kamal: What do you mean?
(a knock at the door)
Hiro: Did I forget to mention that a good looking guy with a pony tail was coming up to the apartment?
(knocking)
Kamal: Oh no.

Freelance[edit]

Freelance
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Kamal: Freelance?
Aiden: Free as in paid, dude. As in, I would pay you money to use your powers for good instead of--
Kamal: Spying on you?
Aiden: That.
Kamal: I don't think... it would be a good idea to work for you.
Aiden: Oh, you mean because of Sophia? Sophie and I worked things out. Where's my damn chatter?
(chatter beeps on)
Aiden: Soph, you want to talk to Kamal?
Sophia: (on chatter) Hi, Kamal. Aiden's a bastard.
Kamal: Pardon me?
Sophia: (on chatter) (laughs) But he's my bastard.
Kamal: That's... good...

Bracelet[edit]

Bracelet
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Aiden: Thanks Soph.
(chatter beeps off)
Aiden: See?
Kamal: Yeah.
Aiden: You're underestimating her.
Kamal: What?
Aiden: You talked to her in the last couple of days.
Kamal: A little.
Aiden: She told you about the bracelet.
Kamal: Um...
Aiden: You think I bought her off?
Kamal: It's an expensive bracelet!
Aiden: If you think she's a whore, then--
Kamal: (talking over him) Don't say it.
Aiden: If I had given her that before we made up, Sophie would have run me through with a butcher knife.
Kamal: Good... I mean...
Aiden: You didn't want to be disappointed.
Kamal: I'm not.
Aiden: I'm a good judge of people, Kamal, you're not.
Kamal: You shouldn't assume anything about me.
Aiden: You think I'm stupid. I'm friendly, I smile a lot. That's not what you respect. Okay.
Kamal: Respect? I don't think this has anything to do--
Aiden: Ah, not true, you think all the time. So, think about the freelance thing. Maybe come by for dinner tomorrow, Sophia's cooking. 6-ish?
Kamal: I don't think that would be such a good id--
Aiden: Look at it this way, going to a job interview is not accepting a job. It's an interview. Dinner, okay?

Panic Button[edit]

Panic Button
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Kamal: What does she see in him?
Hiro: The pony tail; girls like hair.
Kamal: He nearly called her a-- you heard what he said!
Hiro: You think I was standing in my bedroom, with my ear pressed against the door eavesdropping?
Kamal: You weren't?
Hiro: Actually, I was, but it was really hard to hear.
Kamal: He's so ... cocky.
Hiro: Funny choice of words. Maybe its the jewelry? You can tell she's used to money.
Kamal: I'll need a panic button. A backup.
Hiro: He can keep her in the style to which she is accustomed... What do you mean a panic button? You're not going over there?
Kamal: I'll set up a program, some... some kind of dead man switch.
Hiro: Oh no, I don't want any part of this.

Code Word[edit]

Code Word
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Hiro: I'm not trusting the hands and body of a future surgeon to the tender ministrations of a pissed off boyfriend.
Kamal: You won't even have to go inside.
Hiro: Good.
Kamal: Unless...
Hiro: No.
Kamal: ...I can't get to my chatter. You can be a couple blocks away, ghosting me.
Hiro: Are you even listening to me? I. Don't. Wanna. Be. Involved.
Kamal: We'll need a code word. I'll say... the twelve cranial nerves.
Hiro: The twelve cranial nerves?
Kamal: Its not likely to come up in conversation.
Hiro: Did you hear me say no? I said no.
Kamal: (lost in thought) Except the cops need to come where I am. Okay, I've got it.
Hiro: Kamal, you're not listening.
Kamal: What?

Blue Then Red[edit]

Blue Then Red
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Aiden: I'm going to check on Sophie in the kitchen. Let me get you another beer, dude. Be right back. (walks away)
Kamal: (whispering) You there?
Hiro: (on chatter) I'm here, dude. Its raining, I'm getting wet.
Kamal: (whispering) So, cranial nerves, you hit the buttons.
Hiro: Blue, then red.
Kamal: (whispering) Yeah, blue, then red... I think... Yes.
Aiden: (walking back) Good to have you over, good for Soph, someone from home.
Kamal: Thank you, its nice to be invited.
Aiden: Dinner was good, huh? She's a good cook.
Kamal: Very good. The kofta were maybe the best I've ever had.
Aiden: Which was that?
Kamal: The lamb meatballs.
Aiden: Oh yeah, I like those... Home cookin'. So, your parents are trying to get here?

Visa[edit]

Visa
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Kamal: They've applied, but they don't have any reason to be bumped in priority. So we're thinking when I get through with school and all that, I'll get permanent residency.
Aiden: How far away is that?
Kamal: At least a couple of years.
Aiden: Hmm, that's a long time - a couple of years. So there's the freaking rub. Have you thought about bringing them in on a visitor's visa?
Kamal: I was denied.
Aiden: Lots of people trying to get here these days.
Kamal: Sophia said her brother was coming. You... got him papers?
Aiden: Yeah, he's inbound. Her mother won't leave Coral, though.
Kamal: So, maybe there's a way you could help my parents?
Aiden: It's nice to have you come over. That freelancing thing I mentioned? It would be great. You'd be coming around, Soph would have someone from home to talk to. Could you do something like set up a chatter account?

My Family[edit]

My Family
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Kamal: A chatter account? I... I could set one up, but you don't need me to do that kind of thing.
Aiden: Maybe try it now. Set me up a chatter account for Bakri Omari-Muengue. You need me to spell that?
Kamal: What's his government number?
Aiden: If Bakri could get a government number, Kamal, what would I need to pay you for?
Kamal: Alright, but this isn't about money, it's about my family.
Aiden: Bringing your parents to Earth? We could talk about that.
Kamal: I just want it clear, if I work for you, you'll see about getting my family here?
Aiden: Kamal, that's what I do.

Shock Sticks[edit]

Shock Sticks
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Kamal: Okay, I can find an unclaimed address and set up a shell. From the outside it will be just like a regular account.
Aiden: What time is it, anyway?
Kamal: Okay, this will just take a sec. I have to build a filter to find an unclaimed address.
(a banging on the door)
Aiden: Yeah?
Officer: Berkeley police.
Aiden: What did you freakin' do?
(banging on the door)
Officer: Open up. Berkeley police.
Kamal: I didn't do anything!
Aiden: The Berkeley cops use their shock sticks, you know.
(Aiden opens door)

Trigeminal[edit]

Trigeminal
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Aiden: Officer, what can I do for you on this drizzly evening?
Officer: You with the chatter, hands off it. Are you the resident-- Hands off the chatter! Put them on your head. On your head. Who's apartment is this?
Aiden: I live here.
Officer: Your name?
Aiden: Aiden Maki.
Officer: Can I see your ID?
Aiden: Sure. What seems to be the problem?
Officer: We got a trace on the chatter for a possible CP fraud. Sir, do you want to tell me just exactly what you were doing?
Kamal: Um, I was... I was looking up a friend's address.
Officer: I'm sorry I will have to confiscate that chatter.
Aiden: Don't you have to have some sort of warrant?
Kamal: (whispering) Oh God, olfactory, optic, oculomotor, trigeminal...
Aiden: Officer, my friend is just looking up an address.
Hiro: (on chatter) What? Oh, oh right, that's me.

Red[edit]

Red
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Officer: I will deal with you in a moment, Mr. Maki, and I will need to see some ID.
Kamal: (whispering) Red, red, red, red, red! (louder) Those are really great red... red curtains, Aiden.
Hiro: I thought it was blue?
Kamal: (whispering) Red!
Hiro: Okay.
Aiden: My friend is very passionate about interior decoration.
Officer: I'm going to have to confiscate that chatter. (chatter on, radio mumbling) Copy that, repeat address please. (radio mumbling) Jesus Christ, I'm on my way. (chatter off) You're a lucky bastard, I've got a priority one, I've got to go.
(walking away)
Aiden: You have to go?
Officer: Officer Under Fire about a block and a half from here.
Aiden: (disappointed) That's it?
Officer: (to chatter) Unit 216 responding to backup, I'm less than two blocks ...(closes door)

I Hate You[edit]

I Hate You
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Hiro: (on chatter) Kamal, what's going on?
Aiden: That was weird... and convenient.
Kamal: (emphasizing) Yes, um, much more convenient than if you were to suddenly drop your chatter down a sewer.
Aiden: What?
Hiro: (on chatter) What?
Kamal: (emphasizing) Yes, if you were to lose your chatter.
Aiden: What?
Hiro: What?
Kamal: For God's sake, you moron, smash the damn chatter with a brick and get the hell out of there!
(sirens heard through chatter)
Hiro: Do what? Oh, the blue button. Only you didn't let me hit the blue button, you made me hit the red one. And that means... I hate you.
(chatter off)
Aiden: You had someone ghosting you. You pulled some hacker stunt to get that cop out of here.
Kamal: (weakly) Not me. Some other dog that looks just like me...

Tack Hammer[edit]

Tack Hammer
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Aiden: (smug) You were afraid. You were thinking I might be the kind of guy who would hold a grudge. Say, break your fingers, each one, with a tack hammer...
(thunder booms outside)
Aiden: Kamal, I am so not that guy.
Kamal: (walking away) I've gotta go. I've gotta check on my friend.
Aiden: No, stay, we'll talk.
Kamal: For some reason, it's never Plan A. No, I got my friend in a world of trouble, I've gotta go. (opens door) Tell Sophia... thanks for dinner.

Raining Cops[edit]

Raining Cops
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(door opens)
Kamal: Hiro? Hiroyuki, are you home?
Hiro: You bastard.
Kamal: Thank God you're home. You're okay? They didn't pick you up?
Hiro: I'm okay, no thanks to you and half the Berkeley police department.
Kamal: I didn't plan it that way.
Hiro: I smashed the chatter, threw it down a sewer grate, and then it started raining cops. Cops in cars, cops on foot, cops dropping out of camo'd helios, cops every-damn-where.
Kamal: Sophia sent leftovers.
Hiro: And now I don't have a chatter.
Kamal: I know. I'm going to give you mine.
Hiro: I don't want your chatter, all my stuff was on mine.

Dude[edit]

Dude
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Hiro: My address book, my schedule, my debit account, every damn thing!
Kamal: Mine is cooler than yours.
Hiro: You just couldn't let me hit that blue button, could you?
Kamal: That would have pushed the 'Officer Under Fire' alert to my chatter, which was Plan A for if Aiden tried to, you know...
Hiro: Pull out your lungs?
Kamal: Don't sound so eager... But as it turned out, I needed the cop to go away.
Hiro: Away meaning to me, and cop meaning every armed officer within 50 city blocks, all because I hit the red button.
Kamal: The 'Officer Under Fire' alert.
Hiro: While it was still on my chatter.
Kamal: Yeah, but Sophie sent leftovers.
Hiro: Leftovers?
Kamal: Yeah, she made marties, little stuffed appetizers, and spiced lamb meatballs, with real meat, with almond rice and, and milk pudding... So, are we okay?
Hiro: (talking with his mouth full) Dude!

Jan: "Witness"[edit]

Pigeon[edit]

Pigeon
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jan: Hey, Marta, whatcha got today?
Marta: I got pigeon and the special.
Jan: What's the special?
Marta: I'd stick with the pigeon.
Jan: (giggles) Maybe later.
Marta: Mmm hmm, maybe later when I'm not looking, you mean?
Jan: (laughing) Hey, hey, I was a kid, jeez, let it go.
Marta: (as Jan walks away) (laughs) Hey, you tell that good looking daddy of yours 'Hey' for me, okay?
(someone driving up)
'Stupid Cop': Hey, Janissary.
Jan: (warily) Officer.

Accessorize[edit]

Accessorize
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': Does your dad know you're cutting the sleeves off his old shirts?
Jan: (mockingly) Everybody loves a girl in uniform.
'Stupid Cop': Listen, Jan, I need your help.
Jan: Well, I'd crop that blue shirt of yours, flash a little skin. A little detailing in your holster wouldn't hurt either. Accessorize, that's the key.
'Stupid Cop': Get in the car, Jan.
Jan: I can't do anything for you.
'Stupid Cop': Oh, I think you can. Let's take a ride so I can explain things.
Jan: You can explain things right here.
'Stupid Cop': Okay. You ever want to be a cop?
Jan: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, its all I think about.

Frustrated[edit]

Frustrated
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': There's so many sons of bitches in the world, Jan, being a cop is a frustrating job.
Jan: Hmmm, you look frustrated.
'Stupid Cop': If I got too frustrated, I might have to redirect my attention to that fire last week. The one that destroyed all your test samples.
Jan: Hey, I didn't do anything.
'Stupid Cop': You didn't.
Jan: But... Why would he...?
'Stupid Cop': You are going to help me, Jan, but I want you to know why. Take a look at this vid tonight.
Jan: What is it?
'Stupid Cop': Take a look. My chatter number's on the case. Call me when you're done, then I'll tell you what you're gonna do.

To Do[edit]

To Do
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(video playing of a woman being beaten/tortured/raped?)
Victim: Aaah! Aaah! Aah! Stop it, please! No, let me--! Aah! No! Aah!
(chatter beeps on)
(chatter number dialed)
'Stupid Cop': (on chatter) Yo?
Jan: What do you want me to do?

On Time[edit]

On Time
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': You watch it?
Jan: What do you want?
'Stupid Cop': At 8:30 tomorrow night, you need to be at the southwest corner of 4th, downtown, under the big Spaceways vacation sign.
Jan: What do I do?
'Stupid Cop': Just be on time, we'll take it from there.
Jan: And what's going to happen?
'Stupid Cop': Well, I'm not going to get an arson warrant for your dad.
Jan: And?
(knocking)
'Stupid Cop': Don't be late.
Jan: Yeah.
(chatter beeps off)

Code Nothing[edit]

Code Nothing
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(door opening)
James J: Hey, Dwayne dropped by again.
Jan: Yeah, I know, I was just... Aren't you supposed to menace guys so they won't hit on me?
James J: You can take care of yourself.
Jan: I say that a lot, don't I?
James J: Yeah. Hey, what's on your mind?
Jan: Just... nothing, Dad.
James J: Real nothing or 'code nothing'?
Jan: Well, you never talk about your unit.
James J: My, my what?
Jan: Most demobs, they talk about their unit. They brag, they have buddies over, and bitch about the officers they hated, and lie about their kills.
James J: (scoffs) That was a long time ago.
Jan: Didn't you like them?
James J: I served with the best, Jan, the best.
Jan: Then why don't you ever talk--
James J: Do you want me to be one of those sorry, old bastards that sit around the apartment all day drinking beer and reminiscing about the good old days?
Jan: Yeah, sometimes.
James J: Duly noted. (chuckles)

Anything Illegal[edit]

Anything Illegal
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(police siren)
'Stupid Cop': Sir, I'm going to need to search your vehicle.
Man: Excuse me?
'Stupid Cop': Step out of the car please, and keep your hands where I can see them.
Man: What did I do?
'Stupid Cop': Step out of the car, sir, now.
Man: What is this? Officer, I just left work. Come on, I haven't had time to do anything illegal.
'Stupid Cop': (drawing weapon) I'm going to have to ask you to step out--
Man: Hey, what the hell are you doing?
'Stupid Cop': Drop the weapon!!
(two gunshots)

Right[edit]

Right
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jan: (horrified) Oh my god!
(woman screams)
'Stupid Cop': Step back, keep away from this vehicle.
Civilian 1: Oh my god.
Civilian 2: The cop just shot that guy!
(people running)
'Stupid Cop': He had a weapon. You, miss, you were standing right there. You saw he drew a weapon. Right?
Jan: (slowly) Right.

Standard Procedure[edit]

Standard Procedure
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(chatter beeps on)
'Stupid Cop': This is Fox-977, requesting an ambulance, this location. One citizen.
(radio mumbling)
'Stupid Cop': No, I'm okay, send uniforms for crowd control though.
(radio mumbling)
'Stupid Cop': Just a traffic stop, he drew a weapon.
(radio mumbling)
'Stupid Cop': Yeah, we'll need the scene team, but you can tell the ambulance crew their client is DRT.
(radio mumbling)
(chatter beeps off)
'Stupid Cop': Miss, don't go anywhere. We'll need you to give a statement on a lie detector about what you saw. All standard procedure.
Jan: (in disbelief) You just--
'Stupid Cop': Name?
Jan: You know my... Janissary James.

DRT[edit]

DRT
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': We'll get you home as soon as we've taken a statement, Miss James.
Jan: (slowly) Can I ask you a question, Officer?
'Stupid Cop': Step over here, Miss James.
Jan: What does DRT stand for?
'Stupid Cop': (opens car door) Watch your head. It means 'Dead Right There'. (closes car door)
(car engine starting)

Creamsicle[edit]

Creamsicle
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(car drives; background radio chatter)
Jan: So what now? Every guy you know who beats his girlfriend, you're just going to face-hole him and blackmail somebody into backing you up?
'Stupid Cop': Not just anyone, a civilian witness who can pass the lie detector. The coroner's inquest is going to eat that up.
Jan: Wow, serve and protect.
'Stupid Cop': Last week, when I had your hand on the PQI and you sat there cool as a creamsicle and lied your pretty ass off, and the machine was too stupid to tell, I just wanted to lean across the desk and slap you...
Jan: Well, now I know something. Are you going to pull me over in a couple of weeks and pop me too?

Miracle[edit]

Miracle
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': ...and a couple of days later, I figured out you were the answer to a prayer.
Jan: (angrily) You can't... you can't just kill people. It can't be that easy.
'Stupid Cop': Cool out, Janissary James, you didn't kill anybody. I did.
Jan: You made me part of it.
'Stupid Cop': That vid you screened? That was my buddy's daughter. If that was you, what do you think your father would have done?
Jan: Leave my dad out of this.
'Stupid Cop': Too late, Jan. Sometime when you were a baby, somebody stuck you with a needle and shot you full of miracles. Smart, fast, strong, never get sick, never get drunk, don't need much sleep...
Jan: (in disbelief) How do you know?
'Stupid Cop': And what did you do?

Asset[edit]

Asset
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

'Stupid Cop': Shoplifting. Play high school goddess for the tormented geeks in your neighborhood.
Jan: Oh, I, I guess I should have been out on the streets murdering bad guys, huh? Strangling jaywalkers on my way home from school?
'Stupid Cop': When I was your age, I pulled strings so I could join up a year early. Wanted to help save humankind. So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.
Jan: Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.
'Stupid Cop': What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.
Jan: (sniffs) Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?
'Stupid Cop': ...Yeah. Okay.

Jersey: "If Someone Was Listening"[edit]

The Human Heart[edit]

The Human Heart
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(jazz music plays)
Jersey: Wait, hang on... Oh! This bit is great! (Jazz music plays) My dad loves this stuff. He says ... Well, he's away a lot, like, years at a time. It drives him crazy. He says this stuff reminds him of what he's fighting for.
Durga: I don't understand.
Jersey: That he can connect. He can listen to this stuff and imagine the people who made it. They cared about the same things we do: making a buck, finding a girl, rooting for the home team. These old guys, they really knew people. They knew the human heart, that's what my dad says.
Durga: Why are you telling me this?
Jersey: It's a long way away, you know, out to wherever he is. He gets lonely out there... I wish you hadn't told me.
Durga: What?
Jersey: About my mom.
Durga: Oh.

Curious Girl[edit]

Curious Girl
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jersey: It doesn't matter, forget about it.
Durga: I'm sorry.
Jersey: It's okay. It's alright. I'm a survivor.
Durga: Jersey, listen.
Jersey: You got something good?
Durga: (surprised) What?
Jersey: Nah, I can tell. There's something about you, like, your refresh rate goes up or something when you're, you know, like...
Durga: Efficient?
Jersey: (chuckles) Gloating.
Durga: It's about Kamal. I started to--
Jersey: Why are you following that guy anyway? I mean, not to be a jerk about it, but the planet's crawling with refues [refugees].
Durga: I don't know. He just seems very interesting to me.
Jersey: Why?
Durga: It's not important.
Jersey: It's happening again?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: The reflecting thing?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: You aren't supposed to want to know why you want to know about this guy, you know?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: And that bugs the hell out of you.
Durga: I am a very curious girl.

Exclusive License[edit]

Exclusive License
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jersey: So, about Kamal.
Durga: I ran a secondary ring around him.
Jersey: A second? Never mind.
Durga: Listen to this.
(recording starts)
Aiden: ...so you come by about 6:20, 6:30, something like that.
Officer: I bang on the door, demand to come in, look scary.
Jersey: Pause it. Who's this?
(recording stops)
Durga: The police officer.
Jersey: What?
Durga: A police officer is a member of the civilian authority structure, granted an exclusive license to use force in the maintenance of socie--
Jersey: I know what a cop is. This is the cop? What's the timestamp?
Durga: 13:27:41.
Jersey: Before Kamal came over to the girl's apartment?
Durga: Before.
Jersey: Daaaamn!

Good at my Job[edit]

Good at my Job
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(recording starts)
Aiden: I think of it as product testing, quality assurance. I need people who, you know, can work well under pressure.
Officer: You want him arrested?
Aiden: You trying to sell me a bigger ticket item? No, just rattle and roll it.
Officer: I was thinking this time you can--
 Aiden: Regular prices!
Officer: You want to stay friends with me, Aiden?
Aiden: I keep a lot of friends, friend. I know the going rate.
(recording stops)
Jersey: Un-freaking-believable!
Durga: You know what I am?
Jersey: Incredibly illegal?
Durga: (Interrogator's voice) Good at my job.
Jersey: Heh, you do impressions. Just what the world needs, super-powered spyware with a sense of humor. Wow.
Durga: I've been thinking a lot about bees.

Awful Fast[edit]

Awful Fast
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jersey: Bees?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: Why?
Durga: I don't know.
Jersey: And that's like, creepy?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: This is more reflection stuff, isn't it?
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: Huh, when I was little, we had this mirror in the bathroom. I used to hide behind the door and jump out and see if I could catch my reflection doing something interesting.
Durga: Startle it?
Jersey: Well, before it had time to just, you know, mirror me.
Durga: You think that's what I'm doing?
Jersey: Well, the thing is, you have to jump out awful fast.
Durga: Yes.
Jersey: I gotta tell you, I feel kind of weird about listening to this stuff about Jan. I mean, I'm kind of wondering if you can do a little backscan on the chick down the hall and all of a sudden you're drilling into hardened police emergency channels and...
Durga: So you don't want any more material on Janissary James?
Jersey: No... I mean, yeah... Well, I mean, whatcha got?

Real[edit]

Real
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(recording starts)
'Stupid Cop': ...So you're about the last person on the planet I need a civics lecture from.
Jan: Well, you sure as hell need one from somebody.
'Stupid Cop': What I needed was an asset to solve a problem. You were just dumb enough to make yourself available.
Jan: (sniffs) Look, you just made me help you murder someone. Could you just be a little bit nice to me?
'Stupid Cop': Yeah. Okay.
(recording stops)
Jersey: That... wasn't what I was expecting.
Durga: I know.
Jersey: Damn.
Durga: Should I stop?
Jersey: (takes a breath) For a quality experience, the girls have to be real.

Creepy[edit]

Creepy
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Jersey: Hang on, let me turn this off...(turns off the jazz) You know, I just had a creepy thought.
Durga: A bee dies when it stings you.
Jersey: ...Yeah?
Durga: But it can also sting you after it's dead.
Jersey: Yuck.
Durga: Curious symmetry.
Jersey: Okay, that's a creepy thought too, but you know what I was thinking?
Durga: What?
Jersey: How spooky it would be if someone was listening to us right now.
Durga: To us?
Jersey: Spying on us, you know, like we're listening to them.
Durga: That would be impossible. I would know.
Jersey: Yeah, I guess you're right, but if they were... creeeeepy.

Herzog: "Old Spies"[edit]

Key Lime[edit]

Key Lime reversed; forwards
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?
Key Lime backwards
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

(entering pub)
Avi: Hey, you dry old man, they have very good pie here.
Herzog: Best in Boston.
Avi: Apple, Key Lime, French Silk, or Baklava. Although, the best Baklava is from Acco. One of those places everyone has been... Romans, Crusaders, people as old as you.
Herzog: You're older than I am.
Avi: That's how I know you're an old man.
Herzog: Key Lime then.
Avi: (snaps fingers) Two pieces of Key Lime, and coffee.
Waitress: Comin' up.
Avi: So, what happened?
Herzog: With the chatter net?
Avi: With everything.
Herzog: The ship, the one that crashed out of the slipstream inside lunar orbit...
Avi: The Apocalypso.
Herzog: Right.
Avi: It wasn't just the ship?

Candidate[edit]

Candidate
SoundQuote.png Trouble with the audio sample?

Herzog: Right.
Avi: It was one of ours, huh? Navy spy ship?
Herzog: Right again.
Avi: There's more... But either you don't know it or you can't tell me.
Herzog: You said you had a recruit.
Avi: - A candidate
Herzog: (skeptically) ...a candidate
Avi: (sigh) You should retire, old man.
Herzog: I have work to do. More work since some people left the business to take soft professor jobs.
Avi: I got too old for the game. And I was younger than you are now.
Herzog: You said you had a candidate...?
Avi: A mouse. You would never know she's there. She's a scholarship girl from some god-forsaken hick town. Although, the only way you can tell is her haircut. She's got the clothes alright, she just seems to have a blind spot about the hair.
Herzog: Good, good.
Avi: She looks at the things ordinary people do, like a scientist.
Herzog: ...like a detective.
Avi: Also persistent as hell. I'll send you her dossier next week.
(pie arrives)
Herzog: Ah, the famous pie.

Sources[edit]

  1. ^ Each chapter is a week apart, and the last chapter includes the start of the Covenant invasion of Earth: a verifiable date.

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List of audio dramas
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