Axon Clips Chapter 4: Difference between revisions
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'''Bev:''' Thank you!<br /> | '''Bev:''' Thank you!<br /> | ||
[[Media:such_pigs.ogg|such_pigs]] | [[Media:such_pigs.ogg|such_pigs]] | ||
'''Jan:''' Well you sure don't want to lose them to that slutty cash register do ya? | '''Jan:''' Well you sure don't want to lose them to that slutty cash register do ya? | ||
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br /> | '''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Oh Bev, you kidder! How about tomorrow you buy?<br /> | '''Jan:''' Oh Bev, you kidder! How about tomorrow you buy?<br /> | ||
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(sits and drinks)<br /> | (sits and drinks)<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Hey, uh, excuse me? Look I know this is kind of weird, but uh... | '''Gene's friend:''' Hey, uh, excuse me? Look I know this is kind of weird, but uh... | ||
'''Jan:''' Hey, I need a guy's opinion.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Hey, I need a guy's opinion.<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Ya?<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' Ya?<br /> | ||
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'''Jan:''' She's too heavy right?<br /> | '''Jan:''' She's too heavy right?<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' No, uh. I mean, uh...<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' No, uh. I mean, uh...<br /> | ||
Jan: Mhm... men are such pigs.<br /> | '''Jan: '''Mhm... men are such pigs.<br /> | ||
[[Media:optical.ogg|optical]] | [[Media:optical.ogg|optical]] | ||
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'''Gene's friend:''' So keep pretending.<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' So keep pretending.<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Sit down.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Sit down.<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Buddy of mine, Gene | '''Gene's friend:''' Buddy of mine, Gene Lindsey, goes by the name Optical these days. We've been hanging out with these guys and, uh, Gene's in pretty deep you know, he's in um..<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Trouble?<br /> | '''Jan:''' Trouble?<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Yeah.<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' Yeah.<br /> | ||
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'''Jan:''' Finish 8th grade?<br /> | '''Jan:''' Finish 8th grade?<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him forever. | '''Gene's friend:''' Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him forever. | ||
'''Jan:''' Ah, this'll be fun.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Ah, this'll be fun.<br /> | ||
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(victim is struggling)<br /> | (victim is struggling)<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Screw you.<br /> | '''Gene:''' Screw you.<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you | '''Jan:''' Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you? Gene?<br /> | ||
[[Media:mr_congeniality.ogg|mr_congeniality]] | [[Media:mr_congeniality.ogg|mr_congeniality]] | ||
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'''Jan:''' Oh it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go, dance with me. What? Don't you like what you see?<br /> | '''Jan:''' Oh it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go, dance with me. What? Don't you like what you see?<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Hm, I am at my best in the bonus round baby.<br /> | '''Gene:''' Hm, I am at my best in the bonus round baby.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Here's your consolation prize. (lets the woman go)<br /> | '''Gene:''' Here's your consolation prize. (lets the woman go) | ||
(whispers) Thank you, (sobbing) Oh god!<br /> | |||
'''Jan:''' I know, I know, it's over now. Get on home. I'll finish up with Mr.Congeniality.<br /> | '''Jan:''' I know, I know, it's over now. Get on home. I'll finish up with Mr.Congeniality.<br /> | ||
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'''Gene:''' That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart, but nice. | '''Gene:''' That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart, but nice. | ||
'''Jan:''' I'm working on a merit badge.<br /> | '''Jan:''' I'm working on a merit badge.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' (laughs) Ok sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax.<br /> If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal, okay?<br /> | '''Gene:''' (laughs) Ok sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax.<br />If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal, okay?<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Nothing personal.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Nothing personal.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Just business.<br /> | '''Gene:''' Just business.<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' I don't know. I might have to make it personal.<br /> | '''Jan:''' I don't know. I might have to make it personal.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Your funeral. Okay, angel. Time for you to meet the big dog.<br /> | '''Gene:''' Your funeral. Okay, angel. Time for you to meet the big dog. (pulls a knife)<br /> | ||
[[Media:ballet.ogg|ballet]] | [[Media:ballet.ogg|ballet]] | ||
'''Jan:''' See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.<br /> | '''Jan:''' See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.<br /> | ||
(roughage)<br /> | (roughage, knife clatters on the pavement)<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Huh, you've got quick feet.<br /> | '''Gene:''' Huh, you've got quick feet.<br /> | ||
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'''Jan:''' Come on, baby... give it to me.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Come on, baby... give it to me.<br /> | ||
( | (beating)<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face dip into the sidewalk, or... or did you want to lead?<br /> | '''Jan:''' Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face dip into the sidewalk, or... or did you want to lead?<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Jesus!<br /> | '''Gene:''' Jesus!<br /> | ||
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'''Gene:''' Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back, bitch!<br /> | '''Gene:''' Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back, bitch!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Oh, only the guy with the sniper rifle across the street has 2 broken arms... | '''Jan:''' Oh, only the guy with the sniper rifle across the street has 2 broken arms... | ||
'''Gene:''' Pete?<br /> | '''Gene:''' Pete?<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' And the girl with the ponytail, the one who was supposed to cover you from the roof?<br /> | '''Jan:''' And the girl with the ponytail, the one who was supposed to cover you from the roof?<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' Marty? What the hell is | '''Gene:''' Marty? What the hell is thi... (Jan reveals a lock of hair) her hair? You cut off her hair?!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' It's just you, and me... lover. | '''Jan:''' It's just you, and me... lover. | ||
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'''Jan:''' Alright. Get up... Get. Up. Now, from the top. And remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on, big dog. Let's go again.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Alright. Get up... Get. Up. Now, from the top. And remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on, big dog. Let's go again.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' This time you're--<br /> | '''Gene:''' This time you're--<br /> | ||
( | (beating)<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' And here we are again. | '''Jan:''' And here we are again. | ||
'''Gene:''' Christ! (moans and pants) | |||
'''Jan:''' Aww, the choreography is there but I’m not feeling it yet the way I want to.<br /> | |||
'''Gene:''' Screw you!<br /> | '''Gene:''' Screw you!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Alright on your feet, Gene. I'm just going to put the gun in your hand this time. That's it, yeah. Get your finger nice and comfy right on the trigger. Come on, big dog! Bring it baby!<br /> | '''Jan:''' Alright on your feet, Gene. I'm just going to put the gun in your hand this time. That's it, yeah. Get your finger nice and comfy right on the trigger. Come on, big dog! Bring it baby!<br /> | ||
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'''Jan:''' (sigh) The trouble with where you're headed, Gene. Eh, mind if I call you Gene?<br /> | '''Jan:''' (sigh) The trouble with where you're headed, Gene. Eh, mind if I call you Gene?<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' (gasps) You shot my toe off!<br /> | '''Gene:''' (gasps) You shot my toe off!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' This little piggy went 'wee wee wee' all the way home. (stomps on | '''Jan:''' This little piggy went 'wee wee wee' all the way home. (stomps on injured foot) | ||
(scream of pain)<br /> | (scream of pain)<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.<br /> | '''Jan:''' Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.<br /> | ||
'''Gene:''' (cries) Thin is gonna do you, freak!<br /> | '''Gene:''' (cries) Thin is gonna do you, freak!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' And no matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, big dog? (breaking of bones?) A bigger bitch.<br /> | '''Jan:''' And no matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, big dog? (breaking of bones?) (cries of pain) A bigger bitch.<br /> | ||
[[Media:just_snacks.ogg|just_snacks]] | [[Media:just_snacks.ogg|just_snacks]] | ||
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'''Jan:''' For what?<br /> | '''Jan:''' For what?<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Well you know, that thing you did.<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' Well you know, that thing you did.<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' Buddy, I | '''Jan:''' (exaggerated Italian-NY accent) Buddy, I never seen ya before in my life, kapiche? We never met, no time. (pause) I'd stay away from the creamer in this place - 100% real, dried animal fat. Blech!<br /> | ||
'''Gene's friend:''' Well just so you know, Thin's really pissed!<br /> | '''Gene's friend:''' Well just so you know, Thin's really pissed!<br /> | ||
'''Jan:''' I mean I could see which animal, even goat would be ok. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.<br /> | '''Jan:''' I mean I could see which animal, even goat would be ok. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.<br /> | ||
