Axon Clips Chapter 4: Difference between revisions
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==Jersey== | ==Jersey== | ||
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject1.wav Audio Compilation 4min 42sec] | *[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject1.wav Audio Compilation 4min 42sec] | ||
[[Media:your_first_mistake.ogg|your_first_mistake]] | |||
'''George:''' Mr. Morelli. Hm. We will be making a record of this audit. My name is George Shebura. I'm an associate fiscal investigator. You have the right to have your accountant present.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' Yeah, I do my own books.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' I see.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' (on chatter) Trust me Jersey, your books are fine.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' You know, I don't really make a lot of money, and an accountant is expensive, and the computer's supposed to be good at it, so...<br /> | |||
'''George:''' It's not your computer I worry about.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' Your first mistake.<br /> | |||
[[Media:alaska.ogg|alaska]] | |||
'''George:''' Your record seems a little haphazard, Mr.Morelli... As, I must say, does your style of dress....<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' Huh?<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' George Shebura has been working here 9 years. Employee performance records say he is precise, punctual, efficient, arrogant, and not well liked. Still, he was going to be promoted next month....<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' Was?<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Excuse me, Mr. Morelli?<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' Oh nothing.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' Now, he's getting a pay cut... and a job rotation.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' (grunts)<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' ...to Alaska.<br /> | |||
[[Media:refreshingly_cool.ogg|refreshingly_cool]] | |||
'''George:''' Hm. Your return seems better organized than I remember.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' A little house keeping. Just better records, and you know, a few more of them.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Does it seem warm in here to you?<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' No.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' It's probably refreshingly cool in Alaska right now.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Well the floor thermo's must be acting up. These old government buildings. Do you mind if we move a bit to the left?<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' It shouldn't be doing that.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Well now it's getting warm here<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' It really shouldn't be doing that. In fact, it should stop.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' I know! But I don't think that's going to happen. Do you?<br /> | |||
[[Media:thermostat.ogg|thermostat]] | |||
'''George:''' I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule your audit, Mr.Morelli. I can't be expected to work under these conditions.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' I'd hate to have to come back because of a problem with the thermostat.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' Fine.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Ah, it's cooling off. That's better.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' Much better.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Wait, now it's the lights. I'm getting lights shining right through my eyes. Dammit, it's something with the tracking. It's following me.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' Oh you be good cop. I wanna be the bad cop.<br /> | |||
'''Jersey:''' I'd really just like to get this over with.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' This will take as long as it takes, Mr. Morelli. And nothing you say or do will make it go one second faster.<br /> | |||
'''Durga:''' Mistake number 2.<br /> | |||
'''George:''' Shebura here, I'm in the middle of an audit. | |||
George: My wife? Well tell her I'll call her ba--... alright, alright.<br /> | [[Media:clearly_a_glitch.ogg|clearly_a_glitch]] | ||
'''George:''' My wife? Well tell her I'll call her ba--... alright, alright.<br /> | |||
(chatter beep off)<br /> | (chatter beep off)<br /> | ||
George: I have to step out for a moment. Wait here.<br /> | '''George:''' I have to step out for a moment. Wait here.<br /> | ||
(George exits)<br /> | (George exits)<br /> | ||
Durga: Jane Shebura - 36. Her first marriage, his second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife Linda said that it was that, or die of boredom.<br /> | '''Durga:''' Jane Shebura - 36. Her first marriage, his second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife Linda said that it was that, or die of boredom.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Tell me you didn't...<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Tell me you didn't...<br /> | ||
Durga: What?<br /> | '''Durga:''' What?<br /> | ||
Jersey: Whatever!<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Whatever!<br /> | ||
Durga: Oh! You mean the slut chat bill sent to the family account? Clearly a glitch.<br /> | '''Durga:''' Oh! You mean the slut chat bill sent to the family account? Clearly a glitch.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Durga, stop it!<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Durga, stop it!<br /> | ||
(George enters)<br /> | (George enters)<br /> | ||
George: Uh, Mr.Morelli. Actually your return seems uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record k--<br /> | '''George:''' Uh, Mr.Morelli. Actually your return seems uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record k--<br /> | ||
(Officer enters)<br /> | (Officer enters)<br /> | ||
Officer: George Shebura?<br /> | '''Officer:''' George Shebura?<br /> | ||
George: Yes?<br /> | '''George:''' Yes?<br /> | ||
Officer: Officer of the Treasury. I have a warrant for your arrest on 14 counts of counterfeit.<br /> | '''Officer:''' Officer of the Treasury. I have a warrant for your arrest on 14 counts of counterfeit.<br /> | ||
Jersey: What?<br /> | '''Jersey:''' What?<br /> | ||
(Police enters)<br /> | (Police enters)<br /> | ||
Police: Everybody down on the ground!<br /> | '''Police:''' Everybody down on the ground!<br /> | ||
Officer: Who the hell are you?<br /> | '''Officer:''' Who the hell are you?<br /> | ||
Police: Police!<br /> | '''Police:''' Police!<br /> | ||
Jersey: Daaamn...<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Daaamn...<br /> | ||
Police: You are under arrest. | '''Police:''' You are under arrest. | ||
[ | [[Media:big_gloves.ogg|big_gloves]] | ||
Police: Stand with your hands out of the way from your sides! You have the right to remain silent.<br /> | '''Police:''' Stand with your hands out of the way from your sides! You have the right to remain silent.<br /> | ||
Officer: What do you mean counterfeiting?!<br /> | '''Officer:''' What do you mean, counterfeiting?!<br /> | ||
Police: Counterfeiting? Not counterfeiting! Assault! We've got a warrant - armed and dangerous!<br /> | '''Police:''' Counterfeiting? Not counterfeiting! Assault! We've got a warrant - armed and dangerous!<br /> | ||
Jersey: It was just supposed to be a simple audit...<br /> | '''Jersey:''' It was just supposed to be a simple audit...<br /> | ||
Officer: You're wanted for assault? I get him for counterfeiting...<br /> | '''Officer:''' You're wanted for assault? I get him for counterfeiting...<br /> | ||
Enviro: Enviro Department, everybody must vacate the premises!<br /> | '''Enviro:''' Enviro Department, everybody must vacate the premises!<br /> | ||
Police: Freeze! Down on the ground!<br /> | '''Police:''' Freeze! Down on the ground!<br /> | ||
Officer: Oh would you knock that off already...<br /> | '''Officer:''' Oh would you knock that off already...<br /> | ||
Enviro: I have a report of a hazardous chemical contamination...<br /> | '''Enviro:''' I have a report of a hazardous chemical contamination...<br /> | ||
Police: Nobody leaves until I've secured the suspect!<br /> | '''Police:''' Nobody leaves until I've secured the suspect!<br /> | ||
George: This is all a mistake...<br /> | '''George:''' This is all a mistake...<br /> | ||
Officer: | '''Officer:''' Jesus Christ, who's the guy with the big gloves?<br /> | ||
ACO: Animal Control. So, which one of you scum is the guy who's scheme for trading in wild-honey-badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong?<br /> | '''ACO:''' Animal Control. So, which one of you scum is the guy who's scheme for trading in wild-honey-badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong?<br /> | ||
George: I don't even have a dog...<br /> | '''George:''' I don't even have a dog...<br /> | ||
(fire sprinklers)<br /> | (fire sprinklers)<br /> | ||
Jersey: Oh, hey... sprinklers...!<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Oh, hey... sprinklers...!<br /> | ||
[ | [[Media:i_looked_it_up.ogg|i_looked_it_up]] | ||
Jersey: Shut it off<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Shut it off.<br /> | ||
Durga: So I've got some interesting stuff on Jan<br /> | '''Durga:''' So, I've got some interesting stuff on Jan.<br /> | ||
Jersey: You can't do things like that Durga.<br /> | '''Jersey:''' You can't do things like that Durga.<br /> | ||
Durga: He's an auditor. Everybody hates auditors, I looked it up.<br /> | '''Durga:''' He's an auditor. Everybody hates auditors, I looked it up.<br /> | ||
Jersey: That was insane! The cops - they're going to go crazy trying to figure out what happened... they're going to trace it back and probably--<br /> | '''Jersey:''' That was insane! The cops - they're going to go crazy trying to figure out what happened... they're going to trace it back and probably--<br /> | ||
Durga: --and they'll find some likely suspects who hate George Shebura. Some blind accounts, and dead ends.<br /> | '''Durga:''' --and they'll find some likely suspects who hate George Shebura. Some blind accounts, and dead ends.<br /> | ||
Jersey: I don't care! I don't want anything like that happening ever again. Do you understand?<br /> | '''Jersey:''' I don't care! I don't want anything like that happening ever again. Do you understand?<br /> | ||
[ | [[Media:cheerleaders.ogg|cheerleaders]] | ||
Durga: Jersey, I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him, I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us - they're going to get stoned.<br /> | '''Durga:''' Jersey, I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him, I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us - they're going to get stoned.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Us?<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Us?<br /> | ||
Durga: Yes, us. Team Jersey.<br /> | '''Durga:''' Yes, us. Team Jersey.<br /> | ||
Jersey: Why not Team Durga?<br /> | '''Jersey:''' Why not Team Durga?<br /> | ||
Durga: Because I said so.<br /> | '''Durga:''' ''Because I said so''...<br /> | ||
Jersey: | '''Jersey:''' Okay. So, do we have cheerleaders?<br /> | ||
==Rani== | ==Rani== | ||
