The Librarian's board-to-board with Killamin7i

Get rid of "managed" after "Crimson" in the third sentence and your good.

You can adjust it to sound better if you want, I just recommended you maintain the writing style in past tense. It already happened so its not supposed to be "happening" while I read it. In other words it shouldn't be reading like a script. For example it shouldn't say: Crimson is firing at the Covenant while they make their escape. It should say: Crimson fired at the Covenant while they made their escape.

sorry about that still new here. The section just seemed choppy and the sentences not very well written. Is there any way to fix that?