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{{Status|Apocrypha}}
{{era|ILB}}
{{AxonClips}}
{{AxonClips}}
 
{{ratings}}
'''Axon Clips Chapter 4''' is the fourth chapter in the [[I love bees|I Love Bees]] audio drama. It takes place during the second week of September, [[2552]].
'''Axon Clips Chapter 4''' is the fourth chapter in the [[I Love Bees]] audio drama. It takes place during the second week of September, [[2552]].
 
==Kamal==
{{TOCright}}
==Kamal: "Totally Legitimate Business"==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject3.wav Audio Compilation 5min 35sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject3.wav Audio Compilation 5min 35sec]
[[Media:Dark genius.ogg|Dark genius]]


===Dark genius===
'''Aiden:''' Well, I'll be damned... Kamal! Just the guy I wanted to see.<br />
{{Listen|title=Dark genius
'''Kamal:''' Oh no, Aiden. Hey. What are the odds?<br />
|filename=ILB Dark_genius.ogg
'''Aiden:''' Too late to get a beer?<br />
}}
'''[[Aiden Maki|Aiden]]:''' Well, I'll be damned... Kamal! Just the guy I wanted to see.<br />
'''[[Kamal Zaman|Kamal]]:''' Oh no, Aiden. Hey. What are the odds?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Too late to get a [[list of food and drinks|beer]]?<br />
'''Waitress:''' No, sugar, you got 15 minutes to spare.<br />
'''Waitress:''' No, sugar, you got 15 minutes to spare.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Okay, one for me, one for him. Whatever's good.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Okay, one for me, one for him. Whatever's good.<br />
Line 25: Line 20:
'''Waitress:''' Two beers, coming right up.<br />
'''Waitress:''' Two beers, coming right up.<br />


===Drink the beer===
[[Media:Drink the beer.ogg|Drink the beer]]
{{Listen|title=Drink the beer
 
|filename=ILB Drink the beer.ogg
}}
'''Aiden:''' So, I have a friend who has this problem.<br />
'''Aiden:''' So, I have a friend who has this problem.<br />
'''Kamal:''' No.<br />
'''Kamal:''' No.<br />
Line 47: Line 40:
'''Kamal:''' ''(drinks)'' What kind of business?<br />
'''Kamal:''' ''(drinks)'' What kind of business?<br />


===Knee caps===
[[Media:Knee caps.ogg|Knee caps]]
{{Listen|title=Knee caps
 
|filename=ILB Knee caps.ogg
'''Aiden:''' Welcome to the tastefully appointed security control room. The nerve center if you will, of the Apollonian Temple Casino. My name is Aiden Maki--<br />
}}
'''Mr. F:''' --Cut the crap, Aiden.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Welcome to the tastefully appointed security control room. The nerve center if you will, of the [[Apollonian Temple Casino]]. My name is Aiden Maki--<br />
'''[[Forihoff|Mr. F]]:''' --Cut the crap, Aiden.<br />
'''Aiden:''' ...And I'll be your in-flight host this evening.<br />
'''Aiden:''' ...And I'll be your in-flight host this evening.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' You can see the guys you want on monitors 3, 11 and 16. So remind me again, why can't we break these bastards' knees, and drop them in a canal where the freaking sewer crabs eat?<br />
'''Mr. F:''' You can see the guys you want on monitors 3, 11 and 16. So remind me again, why can't we break these bastards' knees, and drop them in a canal where the freaking sewer crabs eat?<br />
Line 66: Line 57:
'''Kamal:''' ...decomposing bodies.<br />
'''Kamal:''' ...decomposing bodies.<br />


===Hard bargain===
[[Media:Hard bargain.ogg|Hard bargain]]
{{Listen|title=Hard bargain
 
|filename=ILB Hard bargain.ogg
}}
'''Aiden:''' Excuse us, Mr. F. ''(to Kamal)'' All the man wants to find out is what they're doing.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Excuse us, Mr. F. ''(to Kamal)'' All the man wants to find out is what they're doing.<br />
'''Kamal:''' So he can what, write his memoirs? You said this was all legal!<br />
'''Kamal:''' So he can what, write his memoirs? You said this was all legal!<br />
'''Aiden:''' I haven't asked you to do anything illegal, have I?<br />
'''Aiden:''' I haven't asked you to do anything illegal, have I?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Didn't you hear what he said? He was--<br />
'''Kamal:''' Didn't you hear what he said? He was--<br />
'''Aiden:''' --But the whole killing thing will only happen if you don't help. And even that's worst-case scenario.<br />
'''Aiden:''' --But the whole killing thing will only happen if you don't help. And even that's worst case scenario.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' Actually, that wouldn't be the worst case. The worst case would be if we went down to--<br />
'''Mr. F:''' Actually, that wouldn't be the worst case. The worst case would be if we went down to--<br />
'''Aiden:''' No-no-no-no... Just hear me out, Kamal. Mr.F shows you what they're doing, and you tell him how they're doing it.<br />
'''Aiden:''' No-no-no-no... Just hear me out, Kamal. Mr.F shows you what they're doing, and you tell him how they're doing it.<br />
Line 84: Line 73:
'''Kamal/Mr. F:''' Cut the crap, Aiden!<br />
'''Kamal/Mr. F:''' Cut the crap, Aiden!<br />


===In each pit===
[[Media:in_each_pit.ogg|in_each_pit]]
{{Listen|title=In each pit
 
|filename=ILB_In_each_pit.ogg
}}
'''Aiden:''' Okay, from here we can monitor the whole casino floor.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Okay, from here we can monitor the whole casino floor.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' See the blackjack tables here. There's 6 of them in each pit, and the managers rotate the dealers every 20 minutes.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' See the blackjack tables here. There's 6 of them in each pit, and the managers rotate the dealers every 20 minutes.<br />
Line 96: Line 83:
'''Mr. F:''' They don't stay at the same table. They don't move around in any predictable pattern. We could just take them off the tables and leave them in a ditch. Why did you say we shouldn't do that again?<br />
'''Mr. F:''' They don't stay at the same table. They don't move around in any predictable pattern. We could just take them off the tables and leave them in a ditch. Why did you say we shouldn't do that again?<br />
'''Aiden:''' But, it would really be better if they understood how they were, uh...<br />
'''Aiden:''' But, it would really be better if they understood how they were, uh...<br />
'''Mr. F:''' ...screwing me.
'''Mr. F:''' ...screwing me.  
 
[[Media:twenty_percent.ogg|twenty_percent]]


===Twenty percent===
'''Mr. F''' We've got archives of all their plays in the last 10 days. Figure out how they're screwing me...<br />
{{Listen|title=Twenty percent
|filename=ILB_Twenty_percent.ogg
}}
'''Mr. F:''' We've got archives of all their plays in the last 10 days. Figure out how they're screwing me...<br />
'''Aiden:''' Whaddaya say?<br />
'''Aiden:''' Whaddaya say?<br />
'''Mr. F:''' Figure it out, please...?<br />
'''Mr. F:''' Figure it out, please...?<br />
'''Kamal:''' I think he was talking to me.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I think he was talking to me.<br />
'''Aiden:''' See this number? That's how much we figure these kids have taken out of the casino.<br />
'''Aiden:''' See this number? That's how much we figure these kids have taken out of the casino.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' You get it back for me, 20% of its yours.<br />
'''Mr. F:''' You get it back for me, 20% of it's yours.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Oh, wow...<br />
'''Kamal:''' Oh, wow...<br />
'''Aiden:''' Trust me. If all these guys lose is their money, you'll be doing them a huge favor.<br />
'''Aiden:''' Trust me. If all these guys lose is their money, you'll be doing them a huge favor.<br />
Line 113: Line 98:
'''Aiden:''' Oh, check out table 9. Camera's looking right down her dress!<br />
'''Aiden:''' Oh, check out table 9. Camera's looking right down her dress!<br />


===Uvular implants===
[[Media:uvular_implants.ogg|uvular_implants]]
{{Listen|title=Uvular implants
 
|filename=ILB_Uvular_implants.ogg
}}
'''Kamal:''' Thanks for the ride<br />
'''Kamal:''' Thanks for the ride<br />
'''[[Sophia Bossedon|Sophia]]:''' No problem, Aiden gets these business emergencies sometimes.<br />
'''Sophia:''' No problem, Aiden gets these business emergencies sometimes.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I'm exhausted...<br />
'''Kamal:''' I'm exhausted...<br />
'''Sophia:''' Did I see a new chatter tonight?<br />
'''Sophia:''' Did I see a new chatter tonight?<br />
Line 125: Line 108:
'''Kamal:''' Ancient piece of crappy hardware, half of them wouldn't even take incoming calls, no GPS... never mind.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Ancient piece of crappy hardware, half of them wouldn't even take incoming calls, no GPS... never mind.<br />
'''Sophia:''' Aiden was getting a little worried. He promised Forihoff he would figure out what those guys were doing, but he was beginning to have doubts.<br />
'''Sophia:''' Aiden was getting a little worried. He promised Forihoff he would figure out what those guys were doing, but he was beginning to have doubts.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Oh, the casino, yeah. This pack of grad students from [[Stanford University|Stanford]] is working on private CP channels, but vocalizing through KKI Uvular implants.<br />
'''Kamal:''' Oh, the casino, yeah. This pack of grad students from Stanford is working on private CP channels, but vocalizing through KKI Uvular implants.<br />
'''Sophia:''' Oooo, uvular implants...<br />
'''Sophia:''' Oooo, uvular implants...<br />


===Slingbacks===
[[Media:slingbacks.ogg|slingbacks]]
{{Listen|title=Slingbacks
 
|filename=ILB_Slingbacks.ogg
}}
'''Kamal:''' He's not even counting the cards himself. He's got a tally running on a corneal... but... you really don't care do you...<br />
'''Kamal:''' He's not even counting the cards himself. He's got a tally running on a corneal... but... you really don't care do you...<br />
'''Sophia:''' Uh-uh. Which do you think looks better on me? Slingbacks or Turkish flats?<br />
'''Sophia:''' Uh-uh. Which do you think looks better on me? Slingbacks or Turkish flats?<br />
Line 142: Line 123:
'''Kamal:''' Slingbacks! Definitely slingbacks.  
'''Kamal:''' Slingbacks! Definitely slingbacks.  


===So dense===
[[Media:so_dense.ogg|so_dense]]
{{Listen|title=So dense
 
|filename=ILB_So_dense.ogg
}}
'''Kamal:''' Those are the ones with buckles right?<br />
'''Kamal:''' Those are the ones with buckles right?<br />
'''Sophia:''' There was no business emergency.<br />
'''Sophia:''' There was no business emergency.<br />
Line 158: Line 137:
'''Kamal:''' I was just figuring that out.<br />
'''Kamal:''' I was just figuring that out.<br />


==Jan: "Big Dog"==
==Janissary==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject2.wav Audio Compilation 8min 24sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject2.wav Audio Compilation 8min 24sec]
===Hey Bev===
[[Media:hey_bev.ogg|hey_bev]]
{{Listen|title=Hey Bev
 
|filename=ILB_Hey_bev.ogg
}}
'''Bev:''' Hello... And welcome to Hot'n'Cold... Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br />
'''Bev:''' Hello... And welcome to Hot'n'Cold... Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br />
'''[[Janissary James|Jan]]:''' Hey Bev, you are looking great... Have you lost weight?<br />
'''Jan:''' Hey Bev, you are looking great... Have you lost weight?<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. What beverage can I offer you?<br />
'''Jan:''' Coffee, black, two sugars.<br />
'''Jan:''' Coffee, black, two sugars.<br />
Line 176: Line 153:
'''Bev:''' Thank you!<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you!<br />


===Such pigs===
[[Media:such_pigs.ogg|such_pigs]]
{{Listen|title=Such pigs
 
|filename=ILB_Such_pigs.ogg
'''Jan:''' Well you sure don't want to lose them to that slutty cash register do ya?
}}
'''Jan:''' Well you sure don't want to lose them to that slutty cash register do ya?<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh Bev, you kidder! How about tomorrow you buy?<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh Bev, you kidder! How about tomorrow you buy?<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question.
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question.
(sits and drinks)<br />
(sits and drinks)<br />
'''[[Paolo]]:''' Hey, uh, excuse me? Look I know this is kind of weird, but uh...<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Hey, uh, excuse me? Look I know this is kind of weird, but uh...
'''Jan:''' Hey, I need a guy's opinion.<br />
'''Jan:''' Hey, I need a guy's opinion.<br />
'''Paolo:''' Ya?<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Ya?<br />
'''Jan:''' Be honest with me here. You see that coffee dispenser?<br />
'''Jan:''' Be honest with me here. You see that coffee dispenser?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Yeah?<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Yeah?<br />
'''Jan:''' Would you go out with her?<br />
'''Jan:''' Would you go out with her?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Uh...<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Uh...<br />
'''Jan:''' She's too heavy right?<br />
'''Jan:''' She's too heavy right?<br />
'''Paolo:''' No, uh. I mean, uh...<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' No, uh. I mean, uh...<br />
'''Jan: '''Mhm... men are such pigs.<br />
Jan: Mhm... men are such pigs.<br />


===Optical===
[[Media:optical.ogg|optical]]
{{Listen|title=Optical
 
|filename=ILB_Optical.ogg
'''Gene's friend:''' Look, you're the girl that was at Sharfie's last week aren't you?<br />
}}
'''Paolo: '''Look, you're the girl that was at Sharfie's last week aren't you?<br />
'''Jan:''' Never heard of it. Are we done?<br />
'''Jan:''' Never heard of it. Are we done?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Hey! I need help! I know you're the kind of person who helps. I was there, I saw it, so, you know, don't pretend you're just like them.<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Hey! I need help! I know you're the kind of person who helps. I was there, I saw it, so, you know, don't pretend you're just like them.<br />
'''Jan:''' (sarcastically) Maybe last week was the pretending...<br />
'''Jan:''' (sarcastically) Maybe last week was the pretending...<br />
'''Paolo:''' So keep pretending.<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' So keep pretending.<br />
'''Jan:''' Sit down.<br />
'''Jan:''' Sit down.<br />
'''Paolo:''' Buddy of mine, [[Gene Lindsey]], goes by the name Optical these days. We've been hanging out with these guys and, uh, Gene's in pretty deep you know, he's in um..<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Buddy of mine, Gene Lidsay, goes by the name Optical these days. We've been hanging out with these guys and, uh, Gene's in pretty deep you know, he's in um..<br />
'''Jan:''' Trouble?<br />
'''Jan:''' Trouble?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Yeah.<br />
'''Jan:''' So, your friend wants to move up in the world.<br />
'''Jan:''' So, your friend wants to move up in the world.<br />
'''Paolo:''' Well they want to let him, but first he's got to...<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Well they want to let him, but first he's got to...<br />
'''Jan:''' Finish 8th grade?<br />
'''Jan:''' Finish 8th grade?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him forever.<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Prove himself. He has to do something they can hold over him forever.
'''Jan:''' Ah, this'll be fun.<br />
'''Jan:''' Ah, this'll be fun.<br />


===Box of chocolates===
[[Media:box_of_chocolates.ogg|box_of_chocolates]]
{{Listen|title=Box of chocolates
 
|filename=ILB_Box_of_chocolates.ogg
}}
'''Gene:''' Pardon me, miss.<br />
'''Gene:''' Pardon me, miss.<br />
'''Victim:''' Excuse me?<br />
'''Victim:''' Excuse me?<br />
Line 228: Line 199:
(victim is struggling)<br />
(victim is struggling)<br />
'''Gene:''' Screw you.<br />
'''Gene:''' Screw you.<br />
'''Jan:''' Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you? Gene?<br />
'''Jan:''' Myself, I like a box of chocolates and a man who's not afraid to cry. You're not afraid to cry, are you, Gene?<br />
 
[[Media:mr_congeniality.ogg|mr_congeniality]]


===Mr. Congeniality===
{{Listen|title=Mr. Congeniality
|filename=ILB_Mr_congeniality.ogg
}}
'''Gene:''' Who the hell are you?<br />
'''Gene:''' Who the hell are you?<br />
'''Victim:''' Please, please call the police!<br />
'''Victim:''' Please, please call the police!<br />
Line 241: Line 210:
'''Jan:''' Oh it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go, dance with me. What? Don't you like what you see?<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh it's like the bonus round, stud. Let her go, dance with me. What? Don't you like what you see?<br />
'''Gene:''' Hm, I am at my best in the bonus round baby.<br />
'''Gene:''' Hm, I am at my best in the bonus round baby.<br />
'''Victim:''' (whispers) Thank you<br />
'''Gene:''' Here's your consolation prize. (lets the woman go)<br />
'''Gene:''' Here's your consolation prize. (lets the woman go)<br />
'''Victim: '''(whispers) Thank you, (sobbing) Oh god!<br />
'''Jan:''' I know, I know, it's over now. Get on home. I'll finish up with Mr.Congeniality.<br />
'''Jan:''' I know, I know, it's over now. Get on home. I'll finish up with Mr.Congeniality.<br />


===Big dog===
[[Media:big_dog.ogg|big_dog]]
{{Listen|title=Big dog
 
|filename=ILB_Big_dog.ogg
'''Gene:''' That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart, but nice.
}}
'''Gene:''' That was real nice what you did for that lady. Not real smart, but nice.<br />
'''Jan:''' I'm working on a merit badge.<br />
'''Jan:''' I'm working on a merit badge.<br />
'''Gene:''' (laughs) Okay sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax. If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal, okay?<br />
'''Gene:''' (laughs) Ok sweetie. What's gonna happen here is gonna happen. So just relax.<br /> If it makes it any easier, it's nothing personal, okay?<br />
'''Jan:''' Nothing personal.<br />
'''Jan:''' Nothing personal.<br />
'''Gene:''' Just business.<br />
'''Gene:''' Just business.<br />
'''Jan:''' I don't know. I might have to make it personal.<br />
'''Jan:''' I don't know. I might have to make it personal.<br />
'''Gene:''' Your funeral. Okay, angel. Time for you to meet the big dog. (pulls a knife)<br />
'''Gene:''' Your funeral. Okay, angel. Time for you to meet the big dog.<br />
 
[[Media:ballet.ogg|ballet]]


===Ballet===
{{Listen|title=Ballet
|filename=ILB_Ballet.ogg
}}
'''Jan:''' See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.<br />
'''Jan:''' See, the problem with being a big dog, is there's always a bigger dog.<br />
(roughage, knife clatters on the pavement)<br />
(roughage)<br />
'''Jan:''' Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.<br />
'''Jan:''' Damn! You're going to want to put some ice on that.<br />
'''Gene:''' Huh, you've got quick feet.<br />
'''Gene:''' Huh, you've got quick feet.<br />
Line 269: Line 234:
'''Jan:''' I can see why you get your dates at gun point.<br />
'''Jan:''' I can see why you get your dates at gun point.<br />
'''Gene:''' Just thought you should know.<br />
'''Gene:''' Just thought you should know.<br />
'''Jan:''' Come on Gene, skip the knife... go for the [[M6 Series|M6]] under your jacket.
'''Jan:''' Come on Gene, skip the knife... go for the M6 under your jacket.
 
[[Media:her_hair.ogg|her_hair]]


===Her hair===
{{Listen|title=Her hair
|filename=her_hair.ogg
}}
'''Jan:''' Come on, baby... give it to me.<br />
'''Jan:''' Come on, baby... give it to me.<br />
(beating)<br />
(fighting)<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face dip into the sidewalk, or... or did you want to lead?<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, did I get that right? You draw the gun, I slap you around, then the face dip into the sidewalk, or... or did you want to lead?<br />
'''Gene:''' Jesus!<br />
'''Gene:''' Jesus!<br />
'''Jan:''' I like to dance.<br />
'''Jan:''' I like to dance.<br />
'''Gene:''' Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back, bitch!<br />
'''Gene:''' Oh, you just bought yourself a bullet in the back, bitch!<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, only the guy with the [[Sniper rifle (disambiguation)|sniper rifle]] across the street has 2 broken arms...<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, only the guy with the sniper rifle across the street has 2 broken arms...
'''Gene:''' [[Pete]]?<br />
'''Gene:''' Pete?<br />
'''Jan:''' And the girl with the ponytail, the one who was supposed to cover you from the roof?<br />
'''Jan:''' And the girl with the ponytail, the one who was supposed to cover you from the roof?<br />
'''Gene:''' [[Marty (i love bees)|Marty]]? What the hell is thi... (Jan reveals a lock of hair) her hair? You cut off her hair?!<br />
'''Gene:''' Marty? What the hell is the... (Jan reveals a lock of hair) her hair? You cut off her hair?!<br />
'''Jan:''' It's just you, and me... lover.
'''Jan:''' It's just you, and me... lover.


===Posture counts===
[[Media:posture_counts.ogg|posture_counts]]
{{Listen|title=Posture counts
 
|filename=ILB_Posture_counts.ogg
}}
'''Jan:''' Alright. Get up... Get. Up. Now, from the top. And remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on, big dog. Let's go again.<br />
'''Jan:''' Alright. Get up... Get. Up. Now, from the top. And remember, posture counts. There's the gun. Pick it up. Come on, big dog. Let's go again.<br />
'''Gene:''' This time you're--<br />
'''Gene:''' This time you're--<br />
(beating)<br />
(fighting)<br />
'''Jan:''' And here we are again.<br />
'''Jan:''' And here we are again. (Gene's in pain) Aww, the choreography is there but I’m not feeling it yet the way I want to.<br />
'''Gene:''' Christ! (moans and pants)<br />
'''Jan:''' Aww, the choreography is there but I’m not feeling it yet the way I want to.<br />
'''Gene:''' Screw you!<br />
'''Gene:''' Screw you!<br />
'''Jan:''' Alright on your feet, Gene. I'm just going to put the gun in your hand this time. That's it, yeah. Get your finger nice and comfy right on the trigger. Come on, big dog! Bring it baby!<br />
'''Jan:''' Alright on your feet, Gene. I'm just going to put the gun in your hand this time. That's it, yeah. Get your finger nice and comfy right on the trigger. Come on, big dog! Bring it baby!<br />
Line 302: Line 261:
(gunshot)<br />
(gunshot)<br />


===Wee wee wee===
[[Media:wee_wee_wee.ogg|wee_wee_wee]]
{{Listen|title=Wee wee wee
 
|filename=ILB_Wee_wee_wee.ogg
}}
(scream of pain)<br />
(scream of pain)<br />
'''Jan:''' (sigh) The trouble with where you're headed, Gene. Eh, mind if I call you Gene?<br />
'''Jan:''' (sigh) The trouble with where you're headed, Gene. Eh, mind if I call you Gene?<br />
'''Gene:''' (gasps) You shot my toe off!<br />
'''Gene:''' (gasps) You shot my toe off!<br />
'''Jan:''' This little piggy went 'wee wee wee' all the way home. (stomps on injured foot)
'''Jan:''' This little piggy went 'wee wee wee' all the way home. (stomps on a toe)
(scream of pain)<br />
(scream of pain)<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.<br />
'''Jan:''' Oh, oh, am I hurting your feelings? You see, the trouble with being bad, Gene, is you only last as long as you're the scariest pup on the block.<br />
'''Gene:''' (cries) Thin is gonna do you, freak!<br />
'''Gene:''' (cries) Thin is gonna do you, freak!<br />
'''Jan:''' And no matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, big dog? (breaking of bones?) (cries of pain) A bigger bitch.<br />
'''Jan:''' And no matter how bad you are, how tough, how fast, you know what's waiting for you, big dog? (breaking of bones?) A bigger bitch.<br />
 
[[Media:just_snacks.ogg|just_snacks]]


===Just snacks===
{{Listen|title=Just snacks
|filename=ILB_Just_snacks.ogg
}}
'''Bev:''' Hello! And welcome to hot in cold. Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br />
'''Bev:''' Hello! And welcome to hot in cold. Please, place your thumb on the transaction plate.<br />
'''Jan:''' Bev! It's like you're here every time I come by. Isn't that crazy?<br />
'''Jan:''' Bev! It's like you're here every time I come by. Isn't that crazy?<br />
Line 327: Line 282:
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br />
'''Bev:''' Thank you! I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your question. Enjoy your beverage.<br />


===Apartment squirrels===
[[Media:apartment_squirrels.ogg|apartment_squirrels]]
{{Listen|title=Apartment squirrels
 
|filename=ILB_Apartment_squirrels.ogg
'''Gene's friend:''' Hi there, I, uh, wanted to say thanks.<br />
}}
'''Paolo:''' Hi there, I, uh, wanted to say thanks.<br />
'''Jan:''' For what?<br />
'''Jan:''' For what?<br />
'''Paolo:''' Well you know, that thing you did.<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Well you know, that thing you did.<br />
'''Jan:''' (exaggerated Italian-NY accent) Buddy, I never seen ya before in my life, kapiche? We never met, no time. (pause) I'd stay away from the creamer in this place - 100% real, dried animal fat. Blech!<br />
'''Jan:''' Buddy, I've never seen you before in my life! Kapiche? We never met, no time. (pause) I'd stay away from the creamer in this place - 100% real, dried animal fat. Blech!<br />
'''Paolo:''' Well just so you know, Thin's really pissed!<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' Well just so you know, Thin's really pissed!<br />
'''Jan:''' I mean I could see which animal, even goat would be okay. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.<br />
'''Jan:''' I mean I could see which animal, even goat would be ok. Right now, I'm imagining someone milking those big black apartment squirrels.<br />
'''Paolo:''' I know you can take care of yourself, but... I-I mean, it's great what you did, but watch your back. Thin is really pissed!<br />
'''Gene's friend:''' I know you can take care of yourself, but... I-I mean, it's great what you did, but watch your back. Thin is really pissed!<br />
'''Jan:''' Hm. You Think I should send a card and some flowers?<br />
'''Jan:''' Hm. You Think I should send a card and some flowers?<br />


==Jersey: "The Audit"==
==Jersey==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject1.wav Audio Compilation 4min 42sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject1.wav Audio Compilation 4min 42sec]


===Your first mistake===
[[Media:your_first_mistake.ogg|your_first_mistake]]
{{Listen|title=Your first mistake
 
|filename=ILB_Your_first_mistake.ogg
'''George:''' Mr. Morelli. Hm. We will be making a record of this audit. My name is George Shebura. I'm an associate fiscal investigator. You have the right to have your accountant present.<br />
}}
'''Jersey:''' Yeah, I do my own books.<br />
'''[[George Shebura|George]]:''' Mr. Morelli. Hm. We will be making a record of this audit. My name is George Shebura. I'm an associate fiscal investigator. You have the right to have your accountant present.<br />
'''[[Jersey Morelli|Jersey]]:''' Yeah, I do my own books.<br />
'''George:''' I see.<br />
'''George:''' I see.<br />
'''[[Durga]]:''' (on chatter) Trust me Jersey, your books are fine.<br />
'''Durga:''' (on chatter) Trust me Jersey, your books are fine.<br />
'''Jersey:''' You know, I don't really make a lot of money, and an accountant is expensive, and the computer's supposed to be good at it, so...<br />
'''Jersey:''' You know, I don't really make a lot of money, and an accountant is expensive, and the computer's supposed to be good at it, so...<br />
'''George:''' It's not your computer I worry about.<br />
'''George:''' It's not your computer I worry about.<br />
'''Durga:''' Your first mistake.<br />
'''Durga:''' Your first mistake.<br />


===Alaska===
[[Media:alaska.ogg|alaska]]
{{Listen|title=Alaska
 
|filename=ILB_Alaska.ogg
'''George:''' Your record seems a little haphazard, Mr.Morelli... As, I must say, does your style of dress....<br />
}}
'''George:''' Your record seems a little haphazard, Mr. Morelli... As, I must say, does your style of dress....<br />
'''Jersey:''' Huh?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Huh?<br />
'''Durga:''' George Shebura has been working here 9 years. Employee performance records say he is precise, punctual, efficient, arrogant, and not well liked. Still, he was going to be promoted next month....<br />
'''Durga:''' George Shebura has been working here 9 years. Employee performance records say he is precise, punctual, efficient, arrogant, and not well liked. Still, he was going to be promoted next month....<br />
Line 369: Line 318:
'''Durga:''' ...to Alaska.<br />
'''Durga:''' ...to Alaska.<br />


===Refreshingly cool===
[[Media:refreshingly_cool.ogg|refreshingly_cool]]
{{Listen|title=Refreshingly cool
 
|filename=ILB_Refreshingly_cool.ogg
}}
'''George:''' Hm. Your return seems better organized than I remember.<br />
'''George:''' Hm. Your return seems better organized than I remember.<br />
'''Durga:''' A little house keeping. Just better records, and you know, a few more of them.<br />
'''Durga:''' A little house keeping. Just better records, and you know, a few more of them.<br />
Line 384: Line 331:
'''Durga:''' I know! But I don't think that's going to happen. Do you?<br />
'''Durga:''' I know! But I don't think that's going to happen. Do you?<br />


===Thermostat===
[[Media:thermostat.ogg|thermostat]]
{{Listen|title=Thermostat
 
|filename=ILB_Thermostat.ogg
'''George:''' I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule your audit, Mr.Morelli. I can't be expected to work under these conditions.<br />
}}
'''George:''' I'm afraid you'll have to reschedule your audit, Mr. Morelli. I can't be expected to work under these conditions.<br />
'''Jersey:''' I'd hate to have to come back because of a problem with the thermostat.<br />
'''Jersey:''' I'd hate to have to come back because of a problem with the thermostat.<br />
'''Durga:''' Fine.<br />
'''Durga:''' Fine.<br />
Line 400: Line 345:
'''George:''' Shebura here, I'm in the middle of an audit.  
'''George:''' Shebura here, I'm in the middle of an audit.  


===Clearly a glitch===
[[Media:clearly_a_glitch.ogg|clearly_a_glitch]]
{{Listen|title=Clearly a glitch
 
|filename=ILB_Clearly_a_glitch.ogg
}}
'''George:''' My wife? Well tell her I'll call her ba--... alright, alright.<br />
'''George:''' My wife? Well tell her I'll call her ba--... alright, alright.<br />
(chatter beep off)<br />
(chatter beep off)<br />
'''George:''' I have to step out for a moment. Wait here.<br />
'''George:''' I have to step out for a moment. Wait here.<br />
(George exits)<br />
(George exits)<br />
'''Durga:''' [[Jane Shebura]] - 36. Her first marriage, his second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife [[Linda Shebura|Linda]] said that it was that, or die of boredom.<br />
'''Durga:''' Jane Shebura - 36. Her first marriage, his second. When asked why she wanted a divorce, his first wife Linda said that it was that, or die of boredom.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Tell me you didn't...<br />
'''Jersey:''' Tell me you didn't...<br />
'''Durga:''' What?<br />
'''Durga:''' What?<br />
Line 415: Line 358:
'''Jersey:''' Durga, stop it!<br />
'''Jersey:''' Durga, stop it!<br />
(George enters)<br />
(George enters)<br />
'''George:''' Uh, Mr. Morelli. Actually your return seems uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record k--<br />
'''George:''' Uh, Mr.Morelli. Actually your return seems uh, perfectly adequate. Just, you know, try to be a little bit more careful with your record k--<br />
(Officer enters)<br />
(Officer enters)<br />
'''Officer:''' George Shebura?<br />
'''Officer:''' George Shebura?<br />
'''George:''' Yes?<br />
'''George:''' Yes?<br />
'''Officer:''' [[Department of the Treasury|Officer of the Treasury]]. I have a warrant for your arrest on 14 counts of counterfeit.<br />
'''Officer:''' Officer of the Treasury. I have a warrant for your arrest on 14 counts of counterfeit.<br />
'''Jersey:''' What?<br />
'''Jersey:''' What?<br />
(Police enters)<br />
(Police enters)<br />
Line 428: Line 371:
'''Police:''' You are under arrest.  
'''Police:''' You are under arrest.  


===Big gloves===
[[Media:big_gloves.ogg|big_gloves]]
{{Listen|title=Big gloves
 
|filename=ILB_Big_gloves.ogg
}}
'''Police:''' Stand with your hands out of the way from your sides! You have the right to remain silent.<br />
'''Police:''' Stand with your hands out of the way from your sides! You have the right to remain silent.<br />
'''Officer:''' What do you mean, counterfeiting?!<br />
'''Officer:''' What do you mean, counterfeiting?!<br />
Line 444: Line 385:
'''George:''' This is all a mistake...<br />
'''George:''' This is all a mistake...<br />
'''Officer:''' Jesus Christ, who's the guy with the big gloves?<br />
'''Officer:''' Jesus Christ, who's the guy with the big gloves?<br />
'''ACO:''' [[Animal control]]. So, which one of you scum is the guy whose scheme for trading in wild honey badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong?<br />
'''ACO:''' Animal Control. So, which one of you scum is the guy who's scheme for trading in wild-honey-badgers has gone so terribly, terribly wrong?<br />
'''George:''' I don't even have a dog...<br />
'''George:''' I don't even have a dog...<br />
(fire sprinklers)<br />
(fire sprinklers)<br />
'''Jersey:''' Oh, hey... sprinklers...!<br />
'''Jersey:''' Oh, hey... sprinklers...!<br />


===I looked it up===
[[Media:i_looked_it_up.ogg|i_looked_it_up]]
{{Listen|title=I looked it up
 
|filename=ILB_I_looked_it_up.ogg
'''Jersey:''' Shut it off.<br />
}}
'''Jersey:''' Shut it off. (Durga turns off the music)<br />
'''Durga:''' So, I've got some interesting stuff on Jan.<br />
'''Durga:''' So, I've got some interesting stuff on Jan.<br />
'''Jersey:''' You can't do things like that Durga.<br />
'''Jersey:''' You can't do things like that Durga.<br />
Line 461: Line 400:
'''Jersey:''' I don't care! I don't want anything like that happening ever again. Do you understand?<br />
'''Jersey:''' I don't care! I don't want anything like that happening ever again. Do you understand?<br />


===Cheerleaders===
[[Media:cheerleaders.ogg|cheerleaders]]
{{Listen|title=Cheerleaders
 
|filename=ILB_Cheerleaders.ogg
'''Durga:''' Jersey, I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him, I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us - they're going to get stoned.<br />
}}
'''Durga:''' ''Jersey, I am not a child. I am not a toy. And I am not your thing. I was very restrained with George. I didn't cook him; I didn't send him to jail. But people who mess with us - they're going to get stoned.''<br />
'''Jersey:''' Us?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Us?<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes, us. [[Team Jersey]].<br />
'''Durga:''' Yes, us. Team Jersey.<br />
'''Jersey:''' Why not Team Durga?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Why not Team Durga?<br />
'''Durga:''' ''Because I said so''...<br />
'''Durga:''' ''Because I said so''...<br />
'''Jersey:''' Okay. So, do we have cheerleaders?<br />
'''Jersey:''' Okay. So, do we have cheerleaders?<br />


==Rani: "The Recruitment"==
==Rani==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject4.wav Audio Compilation 8min 21sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject4.wav Audio Compilation 8min 21sec]
===Commissary shoes===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/commissary_shoes.wav commissary_shoes]
{{Listen|title=Commissary shoes
 
|filename=ILB_Commissary_shoes.ogg
}}
(Rani is being followed)<br />
(Rani is being followed)<br />
'''[[Rani Sobeck|Rani]]:''' Hello? Hello?? Who's there?<br />
Rani: Hello? Hello?? Who's there?<br />
'''College boy:''' Your freakin chatter - drop it! And your wallet...<br />
College boy: Your freakin chatter - drop it! And your wallet...<br />
'''Rani:''' (fearful) I'm dropping it. I'm putting it down, slowly. I'm a student!<br />
Rani: (fearful) I'm dropping it. I'm putting it down, slowly. I'm a student!<br />
'''College boy:''' Any funny business, I'm gonna cut you up!<br />
College boy: Any funny business, I'm gonna cut you up!<br />
'''Rani:''' I'm broker than you are! And look at those shoes you're wearing.<br />
Rani: I'm broker than you are! And look at those shoes you're wearing.<br />
'''College boy:''' I didn't tell you you could talk.<br />
College boy: I didn't tell you you could talk.<br />
'''Rani:''' Those are commissary shoes.<br />
Rani: Those are commissary shoes.<br />
'''College boy:''' Shut up!<br />
College boy: Shut up!<br />
'''Rani:''' And the hair cut.<br />
Rani: And the hair cut.<br />
'''College boy:''' Hair cut...? I said shut up.<br />
College boy: Hair cut...? I said shut up.<br />
'''Rani:''' Spikey hair?<br />
Rani: Spikey hair?<br />
'''College boy:''' Instead of worrying about my haircut, you should be worrying about your throat.<br />
College boy: Instead of worrying about my haircut, you should be worrying about your throat.<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/formal_wear.wav formal_wear]
 
Rani: Are you a cop?<br />
College boy: I kill cops.<br />
Rani: No, no under cover would wear those shoes, or go out on the street with a Sigma Chi fraternity tattoo.<br />
College boy: Hey--<br />
Rani: --I'm a student, from a place where overalls are formal wear and even I look outside once in a while.<br />
College boy: But you don't--<br />
Rani: I know who you are.<br />
College boy: Who?<br />
Rani: You're with intelligence, college boy.<br />
College boy: Wait a second--<br />
Rani: This is about that spy job!<br />
College boy: Shu--<br />
Rani: You guys can't do this to people! It's illegal.<br />
College boy: How would you like me to rip your arms off? *sigh* Oh for crying out loud, could you at least stop grinning at me?<br />
Rani: (clenching a giggle) I'm sorry, it's just something I do when faced with the ridiculous.<br />


===Formal wear===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/my_landlady.wav my_landlady]
{{Listen|title=Formal wear
|filename=ILB_Formal_wear.ogg
}}
'''Rani:''' Are you a cop?<br />
'''College boy:''' I kill cops.<br />
'''Rani: '''No, no under cover would wear those shoes, or go out on the street with a Sigma Chi fraternity tattoo.<br />
'''College boy:''' Hey--<br />
'''Rani:''' --I'm a student, from a place where overalls are formal wear and even I look outside once in a while.<br />
'''College boy:''' But you don't--<br />
'''Rani:''' I know who you are.<br />
'''College boy:''' Who?<br />
'''Rani:''' You're with intelligence, college boy.<br />
'''College boy:''' Wait a second--<br />
'''Rani:''' This is about that spy job!<br />
'''College boy:''' Shu--<br />
'''Rani:''' You guys can't do this to people! It's illegal.<br />
'''College boy:''' How would you like me to rip your arms off? *sigh* Oh for crying out loud, could you at least stop grinning at me?<br />
'''Rani:''' (clenching a giggle) I'm sorry, it's just something I do when faced with the ridiculous.<br />


===My landlady===
College boy: It's a test for new recruits, and you did great.<br />
{{Listen|title=My landlady
Rani: Great?! Geez, you don't even look like a Boston thug. You look like something out of central casting.<br />
|filename=ILB_My_landlady.ogg
College boy: (shrugs)<br />
}}
Rani: And I'm not a recruit, I'm not interested.<br />
'''College boy: '''It's a test for new recruits, and you did great.<br />
College boy: Because of the tattoo? Nobody ever noticed it before.<br />
'''Rani: '''Great?! Geez, you don't even look like a [[Boston]] thug. You look like something out of central casting.<br />
Rani: I live in Southy. My landlady is scarier than you.<br />
'''College boy:''' (shrugs)<br />
College boy: Think about your country, take the job.<br />
'''Rani:''' And I'm not a recruit, I'm not interested.<br />
Rani: (laughs) For what? I get two years of spy school, and then I get to hang out in alleys, scaring civilians?<br />
'''College boy:''' Because of the tattoo? Nobody ever noticed it before.<br />
College boy: Jeezus. Look, could I... could I walk home with you? You could at least show me what people wear in the neighborhood.<br />
'''Rani:''' I live in Southy. My landlady is scarier than you.<br />
Rani: No. I'd die of embarrassment. (walks away) Morons.<br />
'''College boy:''' Think about your country, take the job.<br />
 
'''Rani:''' (laughs) For what? I get two years of spy school, and then I get to hang out in alleys, scaring civilians?<br />
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/domestic_bliss.wav domestic_bliss]
'''College boy:''' Jeezus. Look, could I... could I walk home with you? You could at least show me what people wear in your neighborhood.<br />
'''Rani: '''No! I'd die of embarrassment. (walks away) Morons.<br />


===Domestic bliss===
{{Listen|title=Domestic bliss
|filename=ILB_Domestic_bliss.ogg
}}
(mumbling in an apartment)<br />
(mumbling in an apartment)<br />
(chatter beep - Kentucky over the comm)<br />
(chatter beep - Kentucky over the comm)<br />
'''[[Sarah-John Pope|Sarah]]:''' Rani, what's going on there?<br />
Sarah: Rani, what's going on there?<br />
'''Rani: '''The sweet sounds of corner boy, and his refugee bride finding domestic bliss.<br />
Rani: The sweet sounds of corner boy, and his refugee bride finding domestic bliss.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Oh...<br />
Sarah: Oh...<br />
'''Rani:''' They always fight when it gets hot, and it's hot in Boston. How's it in [[Wikipedia:Kentucky|Kentucky]]?<br />
Rani: They always fight when it gets hot, and it's hot in Boston. How's it in Kentucky?<br />
'''Sarah:''' Oh it's hot, but it's a lot quieter. Rani, you've got to move.<br />
Sarah: Oh it's hot, but it's a lot quieter. Rani, you've got to move.<br />
'''Rani: '''I would if I could afford to. I had the weirdest couple of days. My country wants me to be a spy.<br />
Rani: I would if I could afford to. I had the weirdest couple of days. My country wants me to be a spy.<br />
'''Sarah:''' A spy?<br />
Sarah: A spy?<br />
'''Rani: '''First, I got recruited by [[Avi|Professor Avi]]. You remember me talking about him... cultural anthropology.<br />
Rani: First, I got recruited by Professor Avi. You remember me talking about him... cultural anthropology.<br />
'''Sarah: '''Oh yeah, the one you thought was a spook.<br />
Sarah: Oh yeah, the one you thought was a spook.<br />


===A secret life===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/a_secret_life.wav a_secret_life]
{{Listen|title=A secret life
|filename=ILB_A_secret_life.ogg
}}
'''Rani: '''He wears a service ring, he only started teaching about 10 years ago which means he could have done 20 and out. And one day, a couple of kids were talking about buying a car - every model they mentioned, he knew how long it would float.<br />
'''Sarah:''' How long it would float?<br />
'''Rani:''' If you ran it off a bridge.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Okay, that is a little strange. But that doesn't make him a spy.<br />
'''Rani: '''What, just really really weird?<br />
'''Sarah:''' Do you think everybody has a secret life?<br />
'''Rani:''' Everybody does.<br />
'''Sarah:''' I don't.<br />
'''Rani''': ...The reservoir.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Jeezus H, Rani! How do you know that? Were you checking up on me?<br />
'''Rani:''' No, you had a new state park pass sticker on your vehicle, your wet clothes in the laundry room smelled like pond water, you suddenly hated [[John Lee Peacock]], and you gave up your virginity to [[Jason Pope|Jason]] that weekend.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Oh I hate you! You should be a spy!<br />


===Flower delivery===
Rani: He wears a service ring, he only started teaching about 10 years ago which means he could have done 20 and out. And one day, a couple of kids were talking about buying a car - every model they mentioned, he knew how long it would float.<br />
{{Listen|title=Flower delivery
Sarah: How long it would float?<br />
|filename=ILB_Flower_delivery.ogg}}
Rani: If you ran it off a bridge.<br />
'''Rani:''' So the guy with the spikey hair says: "Can I walk you home? And see what real people wear?"<br />
Sarah: Ok, that is a little strange. But that doesn't make him a spy.<br />
Rani: What, just really really weird?<br />
Sarah: Do you think everybody has a secret life?<br />
Rani: Everybody does.<br />
Sarah: I don't.<br />
Rani: ...The reservoir.<br />
Sarah: Jeezus H, Rani! How do you know that? Were you checking up on me?<br />
Rani: No, you had a new state park pass sticker on your vehicle, your wet clothes in the laundry room smelled like pond water, you suddenly hated John Lee Peacock, and you gave up your virginity to Jason that weekend.<br />
Sarah: Oh I hate you! You should be a spy!<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/flower_delivery.wav flower_delivery]
 
Rani: So the guy with the spikey hair says: "Can I walk you home? And see what real people wear?"<br />
(laughs)<br />
(laughs)<br />
'''Rani:''' What idiots! And this is like 2 days after Professor Avi said I should send my resume to Virginia.<br />
Rani: What idiots! And this is like 2 days after Professor Avi said I should send my resume to Virginia.<br />
'''Sarah:''' I can't believe you Rani, I'd have been too scared to notice anything.<br />
Sarah: I can't believe you Rani, I'd have been to scared to notice anything.<br />
'''Rani:''' No, this guy you'd have noticed.<br />
Rani: No, this guy you'd have noticed.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Hey, it sounds like your neighbors have stopped fighting.<br />
Sarah: Hey, it sounds like your neighbors have stopped fighting.<br />
'''Rani: '''Oh god. That means they're going to make up.<br />
Rani: Oh god. That means they're going to make up.<br />
'''Sarah:''' That's bad?<br />
Sarah: That's bad?<br />
'''Rani:''' Their headboard is right against the wall of my bedroom.<br />
Rani: Their headboard is right against the wall of my bedroom.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Gotcha! Oh, that reminds me, mom said to tell you she heard about the guy--<br />
Sarah: Gotcha! Oh, that reminds me, mom said to tell you she heard about the guy--<br />
'''Rani:''' --who's posing as a flower delivery man--<br />
Rani: --who's posing as a flower delivery man--<br />
'''Sarah:''' --and attacking women in their apartments?<br />
Sarah: --and attacking women in their apartments?<br />
'''Rani:''' And not to open my door.<br />
Rani: And not to open my door.<br />
(laughs)<br />
(laughs)<br />
'''Rani:''' Anyway, I don't have to take the spy job, thank God. I got something better.<br />
Rani: Anyway, I don't have to take the spy job, thank God. I got something better.<br />
'''Sarah: '''Oh my god, Rani, that's great!<br />
Sarah: Oh my god, Rani, that's great!<br />
'''Rani:''' Eh, not so great. It's this kid, he's starting a business. He has a [[printer fabricator]].<br />
Rani: Eh, not so great. It's this kid, he's starting a business. He has a printer fabricator<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/desktop_model.wav desktop_model]
 
Rani: This is where you work?<br />
Trevor: A lot of people work where they live.<br />
Rani: This is where you live?? (door closes) Ew, I think something died over here.<br />
Trevor: That's not... I think that's the curtain, someone spilled milk on them.<br />
Rani: On the curtains?<br />
Trevor: There's the printer fabricator.<br />
Rani: It's a desktop model.<br />
Trevor: Yeah?<br />
Rani: Well, I thought you were going to do manufacturing.<br />
Trevor: I am. I mean, we are. Small things. Look, here's a spec sheet for our product. What do you think?<br />
Rani: It's a plastic kitten.<br />
Trevor: Ah, it's a disposable chatter that looks like a plastic kitten.<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/so_mean.wav so_mean]


===Desktop model===
Rani: Like a chatter you get in quickie store?<br />
{{Listen|title=Desktop model
Trevor: Right, see I can fabricate them and sell them to the refuses.<br />
|filename=ILB_Desktop_model.ogg
Rani: The what?<br />
}}
Trevor: Refuses. Refugees. They can't afford a real service.<br />
'''Rani:''' This is where you work?<br />
Rani: Your fabricator can't make these.<br />
'''[[Trevor]]:''' A lot of people work where they live.<br />
Trevor: It can't?<br />
'''Rani: '''This is where you live?? (door closes) Ew, I think something died over here.<br />
Rani: Not so much. They're too thick. This is a desktop.<br />
'''Trevor: '''That's not... I think that's the curtain, someone spilled milk on them.<br />
Trevor: But they said I could use a fabricator like this.<br />
'''Rani: '''On the curtains?<br />
Rani: (sigh) That was so mean of them wasn't it. My uncle has a print-fab shop. If you take the carriage arm off, and use electrostatic polymer, you might get it to run. But who knows how long it would last...<br />
'''Trevor:''' There's the printer fabricator.<br />
Trevor: You're a genius! Let's try it<br />
'''Rani:''' It's a desktop model.<br />
'''Trevor:''' Yeah?<br />
'''Rani:''' Well, I thought you were going to do manufacturing.<br />
'''Trevor:''' I am. I mean, we are. Small things. Look, here's a spec sheet for our product. What do you think?<br />
'''Rani:''' It's a plastic kitten.<br />
'''Trevor:''' Ah, it's a disposable [[Chatter|chatter]] that looks like a plastic kitten.<br />


===So mean===
{{Listen|title=So mean
|filename=ILB_So_mean.ogg
}}
'''Rani:''' Like a chatter you get in quickie store?<br />
'''Trevor:''' Right, see I can fabricate them and sell them to the [[refu]]es.<br />
'''Rani:''' The what?<br />
'''Trevor:''' Refues. Refugees. They can't afford a real service.<br />
'''Rani:''' Your fabricator can't make these.<br />
'''Trevor:''' It can't?<br />
'''Rani:''' Not so much. They're too thick. This is a desktop.<br />
'''Trevor:''' But they said I could use a fabricator like this.<br />
'''Rani:''' (sigh) That was so mean of them wasn't it. My uncle has a print-fab shop. If you take the carriage arm off, and use electrostatic polymer, you might get it to run. But who knows how long it would last...<br />
'''Trevor:''' You're a genius! Let's try it.<br />


===Guess not===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/guess_not.wav guess_not]
{{Listen|title=Guess not
 
|filename=ILB_Guess_not.ogg
Rani: Trevor? What do you suppose it's doing?<br />
}}
Trevor: I don't know... I think maybe it's just slow.<br />
'''Rani:''' Trevor? What do you suppose it's doing?<br />
Rani: Hm, my uncle's print-fabs never made this noise.<br />
'''Trevor:''' I don't know... I think maybe it's just slow.<br />
Trevor: Well Rani, this one's not like his.<br />
'''Rani:''' Hm, my uncle's print-fabs never made this noise.<br />
Rani: I guess not.<br />
'''Trevor:''' Well Rani, this one's not like his.<br />
Trevor: Look Rani, you work for me, ok? So I'd appreciate it if you didn't question every decision I make, alright?<br />
'''Rani:''' I guess not.<br />
'''Trevor:''' Look Rani, you work for me, okay? So I'd appreciate it if you didn't question every decision I make, alright?<br />
(machine gets louder, they shout)<br />
(machine gets louder, they shout)<br />
'''Trevor:''' So, you'll be quitting when?<br />
Trevor: So, you'll be quitting when?<br />
'''Rani: '''How does Friday work for you? (machine dies)<br />
Rani: How does Friday work for you?<br />
'''Trevor:''' Friday's good.  
Trevor: Friday's good.  


===Relocate===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/relocate.wav relocate]
{{Listen|title=Relocate
|filename=ILB_Relocate.ogg
}}
'''Trevor: '''Look at that. Don't they look great?<br />
'''Rani:''' Well, they are cute.<br />
'''Trevor:''' We make a great team, Rani.<br />
'''Rani: '''Trevor, there's no team here. We made 49 cheap chatters before your fabricator exploded.<br />
'''Trevor:''' Shaped like kittens! Girls will love them!<br />
'''Rani:''' I need a job, you need to relocate back to reality.<br />
'''Trevor:''' We'll get another print-fab and make them for what, [[Seven|7]]% of what a cheap chatter costs in a convenience store? We'll clear a good chunk of change. Your 15% will--<br />
'''Rani:''' --My 15 percent? In addition to my salary?<br />
'''Trevor:''' Well, not exactly. I mean, all my capital is tied up in the chatters. But this is better - 15% of what we net. I mean, 25%. 25%, Rani. You can be a partner. Forget working for me, 50%. Rani... Rani, Rani, don't shake your head. Besides, I can't afford to pay you. Not until we sell some kittens.<br />


===Cow, even===
Trevor: Look at that. Don't they look great?<br />
{{Listen|title=Cow, even
Rani: Well, they are cute.<br />
|filename=ILB_Cow_even.ogg
Trevor: We make a great team, Rani.<br />
}}
Rani: Trevor, there's no team here. We made 49 cheap chatters before your fabricator exploded.<br />
'''Rani: '''So, I took 14 disposable chatters as payment, and scrammed.<br />
Trevor: Shaped like kittens! Girls will love them!<br />
'''Sarah:''' (over the chatter) What are you gonna do with 14 chatters?<br />
Rani: I need a job, you need to relocate back to reality.<br />
'''Rani:''' Shaped like little purple kittens.<br />
Trevor: We'll get another print-fab and make them for what, 7% of what a cheap chatter costs in a convenient store? We'll clear a good chunk of change. Your 15% will--<br />
'''Sarah:''' (giggles) Right, shaped like kittens.<br />
Rani: --My 15 percent? In addition to my salary?<br />
'''Rani:''' Oh, hold on... (to a customer) They're good for 400 hours... they make great gifts!<br />
Trevor: Well, not exactly. I mean, all my capital is tied up in the chatters. But this is better - 15% of what we net. I mean, 25%. 25%, Rani. You can be a partner. Forget working for me, 50%. Rani... Rani, Rani, don't shake your head. Besides, I can't afford to pay you. Not until we sell some kittens.<br />
'''Customer: '''Yeah, got any not so girly? Maybe shaped like a... cobra!<br />
'''Rani:''' No.<br />
'''Customer:''' ...wolf!<br />
'''Rani:''' No.<br />
'''Customer:''' ...cow, even?<br />
'''Rani:''' Just kittens.<br />
'''Customer: '''Yeah, okay. I'll take two.<br />


===Knockout gas===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/cow_even.wav cow_even]
{{Listen|title=Knockout gas
 
|filename=ILB_Knockout_gas.ogg
Rani: So, I took 14 disposable chatters as payment, and scrammed.<br />
}}
Sarah: (over the chatter) What are you gonna do with 14 chatters?<br />
'''Rani:''' Thanks. I'm back. I'm selling them at a flea market.<br />
Rani: Shaped like little purple kittens.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Oh... (pitiful)<br />
Sarah: (giggles) Right, shaped like kittens.<br />
'''Rani:''' So, I guess I'm going to get fitted for an all-black suit and commissary shoes.<br />
Rani: Oh, hold on... (to a customer) They're good for 400 hours... they make great gifts!<br />
'''Sarah:''' (gasp) You are going to be a spy! (laughs) They give you pens with knockout gas in them. Now what girl doesn't need a pen with knockout gas in it?<br />
Customer: Yeah, got any not so girly? Maybe shaped like a... cobra!<br />
'''Rani:''' Particularly in the big city...<br />
Rani: No.<br />
'''Sarah:''' Where guys pretending to deliver flowers--<br />
Customer: ...wolf!<br />
'''Rani:''' --Knocking on innocent women's doors...<br />
Rani: No.<br />
Customer: ...cow, even?<br />
Rani: Just kittens.<br />
Customer: Yeah, ok. I'll take two.<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/knockout_gas.wav knockout_gas]
 
Rani: Thanks. I'm back. I'm selling them at a flea market.<br />
Sarah: Oh... (pitiful)<br />
Rani: So, I guess I'm going to get fitted for an all-black suit and commissary shoes.
Sarah: (gasp) You are going to be a spy! (laughs) They give you pens with knockout gas in them. Now what girl doesn't need a pen with knockout gas?<br />
Rani: Particularly in the big city...<br />
Sarah: Where guys pretending to deliver flowers--<br />
Rani: --Knocking on innocent women's doors...<br />
(laughs)<br />
(laughs)<br />
'''Rani:''' Oh, give your mom a hug for me.<br />
Rani: Oh, give your mom a hug for me.<br />


==Herzog: "Enigma"==
==Herzog==
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject5.wav Audio Compilation 2min 13sec]
*[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/surveillance_archive/week4_subject5.wav Audio Compilation 2min 13sec]
the_labyrinth


===The Labyrinth===
'''Herzog:''' Were you ever on Reach?<br />
the_labyrinth (Note: AXON CANCELLED)<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' No sir. You have me scheduled for a duty rotation, leaving for Reach December 15th.<br />
 
'''[[Herzog]]:''' Were you ever on [[Reach]]?<br />
'''[[Unidentified lieutenant (Section 0)|Lieutenant]]:''' No sir. You have me scheduled for a duty rotation, leaving for Reach December 15th.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Hmm, right.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Hmm, right.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Sir? Have I somehow not performed to your requirements?<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Sir? Have I somehow not performed to your requirements?<br />
'''Herzog:''' What? Oh, no, boy. I'm sending you to the labyrinth. ONI's workshop is on Reach, where ONI elves build their toy soldiers.<br />
'''Herzog:''' What? Oh, no, boy. I'm sending you to the labyrinth. ONI's workshop is on Reach, where ONI elves build their toy soldiers.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Sir?<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Sir?<br />
'''Herzog:''' The place where children are the toys. That's where the Spartan 2.0s are from. All [[Catherine Halsey|Dr. Halsey's]] pretty ones.<br />
'''Herzog:''' The place where children are the toys. That's where the Spartan 2.0s are from. All Dr. Halsey's pretty ones.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Oh. I see, sir.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Oh. I see, sir.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Where, if you see anything you must not contact me. Of course. Since for the 6 months of your rotation there you will not be working for me. Of course. And would never let your loyalties to us, to human decency, to the protection of standards interfere with your work.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Where, if you see anything you must not contact me. Of course. Since for the 6 months of your rotation there you will not be working for me. Of course. And would never let your loyalties to us, to human decency, to the protection of standards interfere with your work.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Oh... Yes sir.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Oh... Yes sir.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Well look at it this way. It's probably the safest place in human inhabited space.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Well look at it this way. It's probably the safest place in human inhabited space. How's your history?<br />
 
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/english_longbow.wav English_longbow]


===English longbow===
{{Listen|title=English longbow
|filename=ILB English_longbow.ogg
}}
'''Herzog:''' How's your history?
'''Lieutenant:''' Well, fair, sir.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Well, fair, sir.<br />
'''Herzog:''' How are you on [[World War II]]?<br />
'''Herzog:''' How are you on World War II?<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Crécy - English longbow against French feudal cavalry. Bloodbath, sir.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Cressy - English Longbow against Futile French Cavalry. Bloodbath, sir.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Very good. Except... that was the Hundred Years' War, World War II was 500 years later.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Very good. Except... that was the Hundred years war, World War II was 500 years later.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' I always get them mixed up. Thirty Years' War, and Hundred Years' War --<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' I always get them mixed up. 30 Years War, and Hundred Years War --<br />
'''Herzog:''' --The Germans were winning. They used an elaborate encryption scheme, the British cracked it, and then they had a problem.<br />
'''Herzog:''' --The Germans were winning. They used an elaborate encryption scheme, the British cracked it, and then they had a problem.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' ...''After'' they cracked the code...<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' ...After they cracked the code...<br />
'''Herzog:''' That's right. Now the Brits knew what the Germans meant to do, but if they acted on that knowledge--<br />
'''Herzog:''' That's right. Now the Brits knew what the Germans meant to do, but if they acted on that knowledge--<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' --The Germans would realize the code had been broken.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' --The Germans would realize the code had been broken.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Now what would you do if someone had cracked your code?<br />
'''Herzog:''' Now what would you do if someone had cracked your code?<br />


===Calculus===
[http://transmit.ilovebees.com/outbound/calculus.wav calculus]
{{Listen|title=Calculus
 
|filename=ILB_Calculus.ogg
}}
'''Lieutenant:''' I'd make a new one.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' I'd make a new one.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Full marks!<br />
'''Herzog:''' Full marks!<br />
Line 716: Line 624:
'''Herzog:''' So they had to a terrible calculus. Had to decide how much they could use the intelligence, and how many times they would just have to stand there and watch a German operation they knew they could have stopped.<br />
'''Herzog:''' So they had to a terrible calculus. Had to decide how much they could use the intelligence, and how many times they would just have to stand there and watch a German operation they knew they could have stopped.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' A dilemma worthy of Solomon, sir.<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' A dilemma worthy of Solomon, sir.<br />
'''Herzog:''' Yes. Have you been thinking about [[Harmony]]?<br />
'''Herzog:''' Yes. Have you been thinking about Harmony?<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Yes sir! Oh... oh my god... you mean [[Troy]] and Harmony are--<br />
'''Lieutenant:''' Yes sir! Oh... oh my god... you mean Troy and Harmony are--<br />
'''Herzog/COM:''' --(cranky) I don't know. I'm stuck in a dusty old office and no one tells me anything!<br />
'''Herzog:''' --(cranky) I don't know. I'm stuck in a dusty old office and no one tells me anything!<br />


{{Navbox/Media/Audio}}
[[Category:I Love Bees]]
[[Category:I Love Bees]]

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