Editing Avery J. Johnson/Quotes

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{{era|H1|H2|H3}}

==[[Halo: Combat Evolved]]==
===Scripted Dialog===
*"You heard the lady! Move like you've got a purpose!"
*"Oh, bitch...oh, bitch...oh—"when stuck with a grenade.
*"Knock, knock...Cortana, you okay?" when the master chief dies.
*"Men, keep your eyes downrange, fingers on the triggers, and we all come home in one piece. Am I right, Marines? - [[Johnson]]'s speech on [[Easy]].
*"Once again, it is our job to finish what the flyboys started. We are leaving [[UNSC Pillar of Autumn|this ship's]] platoon, and engaging the [[Covenant]] on solid ground. When we meet the enemy, you will rip their skulls from their spines, and toss 'em away, laughin'! Am I right, Marines?" - Johnson's speech on [[Normal]].
*"Men, here is where we show those [[Elites|split-chin]], squid-head, sons of bitches that they could not have picked a worse enemy than the [[human]] race. We are going to blow the hell out of those dumb bugs until we don't have anything left to shoot 'em with! And then, we are going to strangle them with their own living guts! Am I right, Marines?" - Johnson's speech on [[Heroic]].
*"Men, we led those dumb bugs out to the middle of nowhere to keep 'em from gettin' their filthy claws on [[Earth]]. But, we stumbled onto [[Installation 04|somethin']] they're so hot for, that they're scramblin' over each other to get it. Well, I don't care if it's God's own personal anti-son-of-a-bitch machine, or a giant hula hoop, we're not gonna let 'em have it! What we will let 'em have is a belly full of lead, and a pool of their own blood to drown in! Am I right, Marines?" -[[Johnson]]'s speech on [[Legendary]].
*"All you greenhorns who wanted to see Covenant up close... this is gonna be your lucky day."
*"Well, there's only one thing to say... That's all, folks!" - When the [[Master Chief]] is killed after attacking the crew on the [[UNSC Pillar of Autumn|Pillar of Autumn]]'s bridge.
*"It's a mess, sir. We're scattered all over this valley. We called for evac, but until [[Master Chief|you]] showed up, [[Johnson|I]] thought we were cooked." - To the Master Chief on the level [[Halo (Halo: Combat Evolved Level)|Halo]].
*"Hit it, Marines—go, go, go! The [[UNSC|Corps]] ain't payin' us by the hour!" Beginning of [[Truth and Reconciliation(level)]] after the cut-scene.   
*"Don't even THINK about it, Marine!" - To Wallace Jenkins.

'''Legendary Ending'''
*"C'mere you mother... I'm gonna... Grr... Ah!" - Struggling with an Elite for [[Assault Rifle]].
*"Oh, shi—" - When the Pillar of Autumn started to explode.
*"This is it, baby. Hold me." - To the [[Hugging Elite|Elite]], who hugs him.

'''When exiting the Halo Trial'''
*"So. You beat the ''Halo'' demo. Not bad, soldier, not bad at all. But are you ready to take the next step?! In the full version of ''Halo'', you'll find additional vehicles like tanks, plasma turrets, and aircraft: powerful, new human ''and'' alien weapons; a single player campaign spanning ''ten'' massive indoor and outdoor environments; ''and'' support for intense multiplayer battles with up to sixteen of your friends!  ...Or enemies.  All that wrapped up in an epic sci-fi story that's so ''freaky'', it makes me shake just thinkin' about it. Halo: Combat Evolved.  Buy one!  Heck, buy two.  That's an order, soldier!"

===Random Phrases===
*"Get up, SO [[Avery Junior Johnson|I]] CAN KILL YOU AGAIN!" - Shooting the enemy's corpse.
*"Roadkill!"
*"Why me...?" - Stuck by [[Plasma Grenade]].
*"School is now in session!"
*"Leave some for me!"
*"You mind not killing my men?!" - When you kill a [[Marine]].
*"You monkeys almost look like soldiers there!" - To the Marines.
*"I'm proud of you, Marines!" - After a Marine scores a kill.
*"Marines, we are going to aid [[John-117|Master Chief]] after he just saved your sorry asses!" - Assault on the Control Room.
*"Ah, man, I just had the thing washed!" - After a roadkill.
*"You're ''almost'' a man!" - After you or a Marine kills something.
*"Who's the man?" (Marine says- "You are") 
*"Thank you!" - After Johnson kills a [[Sangheili]] or [[Unggoy]].
*"Just you and me now." - After all marines nearby have been killed.
*"One down, 50 billion to go!" - After killing [[Covenant]] infantry.
*"Do I owe you money?! " - After being hit by the player.
*"Sorry, soldier"
*"Don't get cocky!"
*"Where are your glasses, boy?"- after shooting [[Marines]] or him.
*"Stop whining!"
*"We did bring enough ammo to kill these things!" - Referring to the [[Flood]] on the level [[343 Guilty Spark]] as you're running to reach the structure
*"No peeking!"
*"Headshot!"
*"We could use your help. Sir."
*"I'm too pretty to die!"

==[[Halo 2]]==
===Scripted Lines===
*"Well, he's in a particularly fine mood. Maybe [[Lord Hood]] didn't give him an invitation." - To the [[John-117|Master Chief]], entering the tram car.
*"[[Earth]]... Haven't seen it in years. When I shipped out for Basic, the orbital defense grid was all theory and politics. Now look! The [[Cairo Station|Cairo]] is just one of three hundred geosync platforms. That MAC gun can put a round clean through a Covenant capital ship. With coordinated fire from the [[Athens Station|Athens]] and the [[Malta Station|Malta]], northing's getting past this battle cluster in one piece. Ships have been arriving all morning. Nobody's saying much, but I think something big's about to happen." - In the tram car.
*"And you told me you were gonna wear something nice." - In response to John-117 complaining about cameras on the Cairo station.
*"For a brick, he flew pretty good." - Ending cut-scene of [[Cairo Station (Level)|Cairo Station]] after the bomb detonates.
*"If you want to keep your brain inside your head, I'd tell those boys to chill!" - To [[Tartarus]] in the [[Great Journey (Level)|Great Journey]] cut-scene.
*"Dear Humanity...  We regret being alien bastards. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy-ass fleet!" - Opening cut-scene of [[Outskirts (Level)|Outskirts]].
*"Oh, I know what the ladies like..." - To Cortana when she thanks him for bringing her and the Master Chief a tank... and while cocking an M-247. Opening cut-scene of [[Metropolis]].
*"*Grunts* You know, your father never asked me for help, either!" - To [[Miranda Keyes]] after she retrieves the [[Index]] at the Library at the end of [[Quarantine Zone (Level)|Quarantine Zone]].
*"Listen, you don't like me, and I sure as hell don't like you. But if we don't do something, [[Tartarus|Mr. Mohawk]]'s gonna activate this ring, and we're all gonna die." - To the [[Thel 'Vadamee|Arbiter]], while piloting a [[Scarab]], during The [[Great Journey (Level)|Great Journey]].
*"Please... don't shake the lightbulb!" - Referring to [[343 Guilty Spark (Monitor)|343 Guilty Spark]] in The Great Journey.
*"Well, I just happen to have a key! Come on, grab a [[Banshee]] and give me some cover. He's gonna know we're comin'." - Near the end of The Great Journey (Level), when he is told that Tartarus has locked himself in the control room on Delta Halo and ''happens'' to be commandeering a Scarab.
*"Hey, bastard! Knock! Knock!" - Towards the end of The Great Journey (Level) when he blows open the control room on Delta Halo with a Scarab
*"Hang tight, [[Miranda Keyes|ma'am]], not until that [[Tartarus|Brute]] is dead!" - Telling Keyes to wait until the [[Thel 'Vadam|Arbiter]] killed Tartarus before removing the [[Activation Index|Index]]

===Gameplay Quotes===
*"If you didn't want your ass shot off, you shouldn't have stuck it out so far" - After shooting enemy (IWHBYD required).
*"Yes, we know I'm pretty, but we gotta get back to work." - After being stared at for a period of time.
*"I heard that, jackass!" - In response to a Marine on [[Delta Halo (Level)|Delta Halo]].
*"That hurts, Chief. That hurts real bad." - When you take his [[Sniper Rifle]].
*"Don't make me take off my belt!"
*"Don't look at me, look at them!" - When being stared at in the opening battle on [[Outskirts]].
*"You do know I was kicking ass with that?" - When you swap weapons with him.
*"I thought we were friends!" - When you take his Sniper.
*"Very funny, [[Cortana]]. Now turn [[John-117|him]] back on." - If the Master Chief stares at him for too long.
*"Do I look like an [[Brute|eight-foot-tall alien monster]]?." - If you shoot or melee him.  
*"[[John-117|Chief]], you've been through worse." - If the Master Chief dies.
*"I'm too pretty to die!" - If he is stuck with a [[Plasma Grenade]].
*"I don't wanna kill ya, you're just too ugly to let live!".
*"Looks like your freaky, little mouth just bit off more than it could chew!"- to a [[Grunt]] on the level, Outskirts.
*"Don't they teach you kids how to swear in basic any more?!" - Outskirts [[Normal]].
*"Don't make me rip your arms off and beat you to death with them!" When a Grunt yells "Monkey!"
*"We got [[Jackals]] in the courtyard!"
*"Come on Arbiter, kick that guy's ass!" - Supporting the Arbiter when fighting Tartarus.
*"Who's the Man?"
(To himselff) "You are!"
"THANK YOU!" In response to himself

===[[Metropolis]] Speeches===
{{quote|You had your chance to be afraid before you joined my beloved Corps! But, to guide you back to the true path, I brought this motivational device! Our big green style cannot be defeated!|Easy}}

{{quote|The Chief is gonna jump in this tank, roll across the bridge, and blow up any inhuman son-of-a-bitch dumb enough to get between him and the Prophet of Regret! Pull yourself together, 'cause you're going with him.|Normal}}

{{quote|When I joined the Corps, we didn't have any fancy-schmanzy tanks. We had sticks! Two sticks, and a rock for the whole platoon—and we had to share the rock! Buck up, boy, you are one very lucky marine!|Heroic}}

{{quote|Usually, the good Lord works in mysterious ways. But not today! This here is [[Scorpion|66 tons of straight-up, H.E-spewing dee-vine intervention]]! If God is love, then you can call me 'Cupid'!|Legendary}}

==[[Halo 3]]==
===Scripted Dialogue===
*"'What's an aspect ratio?' It's the shape and proportion of your screen, fool!" - On the AV Calibration tool.
*"Crazy fool... why do you always jump?! One of these days, you're gonna land on something as stubborn as you are. And I don't do bits and pieces..." - to the Master Chief at the beginning of [[Halo 3]].
*"Come on, you [[Brutes|dumb apes]]! If you want breakfast, you gotta catch it!" - to pursuing Brutes on [[Sierra 117 (Level)|Sierra 117]].
*"Send me out... with a bang." - To the Master Chief; Johnson's last words.
*"Kick his ass." - to the Master Chief after he hands over the Spartan Laser to help defeat 343 Guilty Spark.
*"Don't let her go... don't ''ever'' let her go." - to the Master Chief about [[Cortana]].
*"What's the matter, big shot? Can't start your [[Great Journey|own party]]?" - When Truth needs him to activate [[Installation 00|The Ark]].
*"This isn't as fun as it looks. Cut the power!" - When held prisoner behind a [[Covenant]] energy field.
*Johnson can sometimes be heard humming Flight of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner when Forward Unto Dawn comes down on the Ark.
*"Do you or do you not want to finish the fight?" - If you don't get on the Pelican at the end of Sierra 117, a referance to Halo 3's tagline.
*"We're even, long as we're only countin' today." After being rescued by [[Master Chief]].

===[[Sierra 117 (Level)|Sierra 117 quotes]]===
The cut-scene at the beginning of Sierra 117 in [[Halo 3]] has several variations, and it is not yet known exactly which settings cause which
*"They must love the scent of testosterone." - At the beginning of Sierra 117.
*"They must love the smell of green." - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on [[Normal]] difficulty.
*"They must love the smell of hero." - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on [[Heroic]] difficulty.
*"They must love the smell of badass." - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on [[Legendary]] difficulty.
*"They must love the smell of badass. And I left a little present for you Arbiter, and I'm walking away. Ha-ha-ha!" - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on Legendary difficulty, with IWHBYD Skull turned on.
*"They must love the smell of a real man." - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on Legendary difficulty with IWHBYD Skull on.
*"They must love the smell of [[Bulgari]]. Yeah, that's right I'm doing a little bit of product placement. I gotta get paid, too, you know!" - At the beginning of Sierra 117, on Legendary (possible without the IWHBYD skull on).

==Books==
*"The [[Flood]]? Hell, [[John-117|Chief]], it's going to take more than that pack of walking alien horror-show freaks to take out Sergeant A. J. Johnson!"
*"Those [[Covenant]] sissies are going to have to tango with me before they set one foot in this room!"
*"That doesn't look like an [[Unyielding Hierophant|Uneven Elephant]] to me: looks more like two squids kissing."
*"Help me with the lady, she weighs more than your last girlfriend."
*[[Corporal]] [[Locklear]]: "Just shoot me now, Sarge, and get it over with. Don't torture me with that [[flip music|crap]] first."

:Sergeant Johnson: "Suck it up, [[Marine]]. This is a classic."
:Corporal Locklear: "So's a mercy killing."
:Sergeant Johnson: "You better get it together, Marine, or the Chief'll reach down and pull you inside out by your corn hole. And that'll be a sweet, sweet mercy... compared to what ''I'm'' gonna do to you."
[[Category:Quotes]]
[[Category:UNSC]]